


Broken Mirror (TF2/MLP crossover)

by ScruffyPegasus



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Team Fortress 2
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blood and Injury, Comedy, F/M, M/M, Multi, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24987283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScruffyPegasus/pseuds/ScruffyPegasus
Summary: TF2/MLP Season: 0 - Broken MirrorBroken Mirror, Lost Memories and lies that have lasted centuries...The Crazy Mer'cs of Team Fortress 2, soon find themselves in a strange new world, in changed forms, where everything is different yet oddly familiar at the same time? can a world of pastel pony, griffins, hippogriffs and other mythical creatures really be the cause of all their problems or maybe the key to solving it? Can they unravel the truth, free them selves from a doomed existence and maybe find the power of friendship within? Who know's the story has only just begun!
Relationships: Heavy/Medic (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Season 0 Broken Mirror : Episode 01 Part: 1 - Discovery

**TF2/MLP Season 0 Broken Mirror : Episode 01 Part: 1 - Discovery**

**Location:** Unknown **Time:** 7:33 am

Miss Pauling pulled the trigger, dealing the final shot to her last target. The victim’s last words were cut-off mid sentence, now replaced with a terrible gurgling as blood rushed from their wound, their body falling to the ground, said blood pooling onto the plastic Miss Pauling had already set up for this occasion. Another target, another less person to get in the way of the Administrator’s plans. As she leaned down to start wrapping the ex-target in the plastic her Motorola StarTAC phone started beeping. Stopping her current task she quickly went to retrieve it from her bag beside the cave wall.

There was only one person who could be calling her right now. The Administrator.

The voice on the other end was firm, angry, and had a simple demand for Miss Pauling that Pauling accepted with little to no question. After confirming that Miss Pauling understood her orders, The Administrator hung up and Miss Pauling put the device back into her bag.

Her facial expression neutral, she turned to the cadaver.    
"Well, better get this over with quickly."

***

**Location:** Red Base 84 ??? **Time:** 12:18 pm

Miss Pauling pulled up alongside the Red Base’s 'rented' Bus, a barely functioning Volkswagen dubbed the 'hippie vehicle' by Soldier. She could see that Sniper's Camper Van was currently in Engineer’s workshop getting fixed, the back of it poking out of the garage several meters away from where she parked her purple motorcycle - an upgrade from the motor scooter she once had. Judging by its absence, they were still trying to find the Red Bread Van that Soldier and Demoman had lost a month back...amazing that there were still no leads, but sadly those two had been drunk driving when they lost it and were unreliable narrators on a good day so the search for the missing Bread Van was still an ongoing investigation.

The Red Base was partly covered by the shade of a large rocky out-crop to the north of her position. It was a sandy gold/brown monument of a rock, centuries old. A place that snakes, scorpions, and birds of prey called home alongside the Red Sniper who had claimed a cave up high on one of the ridges as a secret get-away - this knowledge obtained from one of the many secret spy cameras The Administrator had littered all over the base.

It was oddly quiet...too quiet...making the sound of her shoe’s crunching steps upon the gravel and stone too loud for her own liking. The atmosphere was like that of a ghost town, not something she expected considering the mercs that lived here - and especially not around lunch time...

Now on alert, Miss Pauling - firearm in her hands - approached the back door to the base. Its dull metal body was lightly dented and scraped, but seemed unchanged since the last time - so no sign of a forced entrance from this angle. But one can never be too careful. She imputed her pass-code into the mechanical lock before quickly ducking out of sight to the side as the door swung violently open.

_ CH-CHOOM - CH-CHOOM! _

"Take that you darn dirty Blue!!!" Miss Pauling recognised Soldier’s voice, as well as the sound of his discharging shotgun.

"Soldier it’s me, Miss Pauling!!" She shouted from around the corner, her back pressed against the concrete wall she had taken cover behind. She hoped he could hear her over all the noise he was making, but was glad to be hearing his voice.

"Ahh hello Miss Pauling!! Came over for lunch?!"

"Err...no, Soldier. I've come here because the Administrator would li-"

"MISS PAULING!!"

Scout’s voice came ringing out from the back, and he soon barged past Soldier to come greet her. He looked wildly around before spotting her by the door.

"Oh thank gawd ya here Miss Pauling!! Ya wouldn't believe-" She was pleased to see he was alright but time was not on their side.

"Scout, I'm on a really tight time limit, so I really need to gather the others and take them-"

"BUT YOU SHOULD KNO-"

"Scout, _ no _ . Time limit. Please just-" they kept going back and forth interrupting each other, before Scout just blurted out: "PYRO'S DEAD!"

For a moment no one responded and in the silence Soldier slunk back inside - no longer interested in what was going on. Miss Pauling then sighed, pushing her glasses up her nose and in a very tired voice said: "Okay, tell me what happened and make it quick."

***

**Location:** Red Base 84 - Meeting Room **Time:** 12:28 pm

So one  _ not _ -very-quick explanation later, Pauling had marched her way to the 'Meeting Room', ignoring Scout as he still tried to explain, his words getting jumbled up as he kept pace with her.

When entering the room Miss Pauling could also see that everyone else was present...well, apart from...Pyro.

Sniper and Spy seemed to be trading smokes and leaning up against the far left corner in quiet conversation with each other. Soldier was stalking around a presumingly passed out Demoman lying on the wooden long meeting table, debating whether to take his friend’s bottle and drink it himself. Sat beside Demoman, not caring for his condition, Engineer was giving Medic the stink eye, his face angry and arms crossed. Medic stood across from him, his face twisted into a scowl while Heavy sat beside him, seemingly debating whether to try stopping the two from arguing even further.

"Stop acting like a bunch of babyies!! How many of you vere actually there, freund?"

"For one,  _ I  _ was!!" Engineer slammed a fist into the table, "And that's not the point, Doc, an’ you know it!" He now stood to face Medic, "You knew Pyro hated bein' a part of yours experiments and now look what's happened!"

"Vell how was I supposed to know respawn vould fail exactly vhen my experiment went out of control. Honestly, it was just unfortunate timing or ve vould all be standing here and gawking at mein newest achievement."

"Yeah well, your newest achievement put Pyro 6 feet under!!"

"If there had been a body left, I assure you, I vould have done everything in my power to bring them back, the body exploding like vat, vas very unsuspected....fascinating actually, but also the reason I needed to test it on someone in the first place!"

"And you thought Py was the perfect little test dummy?"

"Vell they veren't my first choice, but-"

"Ahem, gentleman,” Spy suddenly interjected, “we have a guest."

The two stopped, but still gave each other an evil glare as they turned to face Miss Pauling.

"Thankyou, Spy. So I've heard the bad news about Pyro. While that is a great loss to the team, I need the remaining number of you to come with me and-"

"Can't ya leave us men to mourn, lass?" Shouted Demoman surprisingly, before taking another swig. "We just lost one of our own-'hic'- and-”  _ THUMP _ _  
_ He slumped facefirst back onto the table, his booze still firmly in his grasp despite Soldier's attempts to take it.

"I understand that you’re upset,” Miss Pauling continued, “but I really need you to help me now and we will sort the Pyro issue later-"

"Pyro isn’t just some ‘issue’, they were a part of our team!" Protested Engineer.

"I know that, Engineer. But the Administrator will be a bigger issue for  _ all  _ of us if we don't find what they’re looking for."

"Fine. What does the witch want?" Engineer grumbled, turning away from her, looking solemn.

"She wants you to help me rummage through Merasmus’ storage unit."

***

**Location:** Badlands, 'Storageland'  **Time:** 1:04 pm

The bus ride to the Storage Unit in question was an awkward one. Engineer rode in one of the front passenger seats alongside Scout, as Sniper insisted on driving. Spy refused to be seen in that vehicle at all, taking his own car and meeting them there. Soldier also loudly refused with a barrage of cuss words that he would not enter that 'hippie vehicle' and had to be sedated by blunt force trauma to the head to get him on the bus. He now 'slept' alongside a passed out Demoman, propped against each other in the second row - within easy grabbing distance if they started to slide onto the floor.

Medic and Heavy occupied the back although not sitting together. It was clear by the low harsh whispers that Heavy too was upset with Medic, if the angry tones in the Russian was any indication.

With the sun still radiating sweltering hot sunlight above them, the vehicle came to a stop in the storage unit parking lot. Sniper had the good sense to park two car-lengths away from Spy's car, knowing accidentally denting or scratching that vehicle was a death sentence, but everyone knowing Scout would probably 'key' it when he thought no one was looking.

Miss Pauling had driven on her motorcycle and arrived first. She was currently in the front office, getting what she needed from the owner and being pointed in the general direction of Merasmus’ unit.

The Mercs stumbled off the bus as Miss Pauling made her way down the row of units, twiddling the keys in her hand till she found what she was looking for, then raising her free hand to indicate for everyone to come over as they had decided to lurk near the entrance.

"Do we know what we are looking for?" Came Spy's voice, smoke drifting in the air from his lit cigarette. He had suddenly appeared leaning against the side of the building. For a second she thought- but shook her head, the heat and stress must be getting to her.

"Not exactly. The Administrator said it was some kind of book..." she muttered while unlocking the door.

"Oh gawd, do ya think the Administrator wants the Bombinomicon!?" Cried Scout, bounding over and shoving Spy aside. "Hey, let me help ya with that, Miss Pauling!" He bent down to lift up the garage-like door of the unit.

"I can confirm, Scout, that she's  _ not _ after  _ that  _ book.” Miss Pauling said as she pocketed the keys, “Our objective is a worn leather book with a neon green sickle moon on the front."

"Oh thank gawd for that!!" And with a final push, the dark expanse hidden beyond the storage unit door was revealed, along with a cloud of moths and other insects that had been trapped and lurking in the dark for who knows how long. Spy quickly darted away from the moths that suddenly homed in on him, seeming to recognize the good quality suit he was wearing. Spy frantically battered away at his flying assailants which got a good chuckle out of Scout - as well as Sniper, who had finally joined them. While the two continued to laugh at Spy getting accosted by moths, Miss Pauling ignored this and struggled to find the lightswitch for the unit.

Soon the rest of the group arrived, Soldier leaning on Demoman for support, still recovering from his head injury. Next was Heavy and Medic, the two now silently fuming at each other and looking anywhere but the other and finally, Engineer, looking more somber than angry now.

Miss Pauling finally found the pull string for the light, yanking it and making visible the complete mess of Merasmus’ storage space which surprised no one except for the sheer quantity. 

It was clear that magic was involved somehow. The stacked rows of oddities were piled so high that in places the ‘aisles’ scraped the ceiling that loomed several meters above them. The rows of ‘stuff’ weaved around, stretching in both directions to form a hoarder’s maze. It didn’t take a genius to see that the inside of the unit far exceeded its external dimensions. 

"As Merasmus’ former roommate, I call dibs on his stuff!!!" Soldier loudly declared, marching unfazed towards the nearest ‘aisle’. Scout stood and gawked at the mound of stuff, "Ya gotta be kiddin' me. It's going to take  _ forever _ to get through this!" 

"I don't usually agree with Scout,” Spy uttered dryly, “but I concur that this looks like it would take more than a week to find what you're looking for.” He swept his arm meaningfully across the sea of debris, “Of course, that is... _if_ it's even here in the first place."

"Da, maybe we start from the bottom and work our way up?" Heavy suggested hopefully. Meanwhile, Soldier and Demo had already started picking things out for themselves. "I call dibs on the scary clown painting- no not that one, the one with the balloon." 

"Guys. I know it looks bad, but the Administrator really needs this book, and it didn’t turn up at the other likely locations, so it has to be here." Miss Pauling said, feeling like the ‘search party’ was already coming apart.

"So by 'other likely locations’,” Spy said with a raised eyebrow, “what do you mean exactly."

Before she could answer or 'not answer' Spy, Miss Pauling's Phone started beeping. She waved him off while reaching down to unclip the clasp of her bag and grab the noisy device. "Sorry, I have to take this, please get started and don't break too many haunted objects!!!"

_ *CCCRRRAASSSSH!!!!!* _

"Oi, bucket head! What did Miss Pauling just say!" Yelled Scout,

"Demo made me do it."

"LIARR!!" Roared Demo in reply.

"Wait, Miss Pauling, there's somethin' I have to ask-" Engineer began but Miss Pauling stepped past his outstretched arm and carried on, "Sorry Engineer, not now!" She dashed out the entrance and disappeared around the corner of another storage unit.

"Well gentleman, I'm not stepping another foot in there so have fun without me-" Spy began sauntering to the entrance but was suddenly yanked back by a hand on his shoulder belonging to Sniper.

"Oh no mate, ya not going anywhere. Start using those fancy spooks skills for something useful and help us find this book faster."

"Let go of me!" Spy growled, glaring daggers at the offending hand of Sniper. Sniper only smirked, and, before Spy could do anything, Scout clapped his hand firmly on the other shoulder. With a grin, Sniper and Scout tossed the outraged Spy into the storage unit.

***

**Location:** Badlands, 'Storageland'  **Time:** 1:32 pm

Looking left then right, hoping Spy was staying put and not following her, Miss Pauling had the phone pressed to the side of her face, nodding reflexively along to whatever the Administrator was saying.

"Yes they are all here apart from Pyro- you already knew? Okay, they’re looking for it now, but it's a mess so it will take longer to find than- ...Yes...once we're done I can take them to Unit 12...I've already laid the plastic down so it will be easy to clean up..."

***

Engineer felt his blood go cold. He had been catching up to where Miss Pauling had run off to, but what he had just overheard…the mixture of emotions coursing through him...he was desperately trying to keep under control beneath that hard hat of his. Anger. Confusion...sadness...and maybe, not as surprised as he would like to be. This day was throwing all the curve balls it could, it seemed. 

He had intended to pursue Miss Pauling and ask if he could talk to the Administrator on that fancy phone device Pauling had been using lately.    
_ Wouldn’t mind getting a closer look at that thing too... _ he’d thought to himself as he tailed her,  _ Haven't seen anything like it before _ . But his main focus was convincing the Administrator to let him take a look at the respawn machine. Maybe he could have a fiddle and see if there was some way to save the terrifying fire starter.

But now...now he didn't know what to think. But he knew he had to get back to the other's and hopefully not make too much noise about it.  _ I guess I know what it's like being a Spy right now _ , he thought, as he slunk back to the group.

Pauling swore softly to herself as she heard the footsteps retreating. She was going to have to deal with that a lot sooner now.

***

**Location:** Merasmus’ Storage Unit **Time:** 1:37 pm

Somehow, Medic and Heavy had managed to traverse Merasmus’ Maze and reach the very back, hoping that this 'mystery' book would be in the literal 'last place to look' area. However, Heavy and Medic quickly became more focused on arguing than at the task at hand, only half consciously browsing through ghoulish nick-nacks and spider-web-filled goblets as the two conversed.

"Vhy can't you just let it go? Vhat’s done is done!" Medic growled, waving his left hand dismissively as he dug through a collection of old record players.

"Still think Doctor overdid it..."

"Everything vould have been fine-"

"Pyro wasn't fine."

Medic stopped briefly, appearing to be mulling over a thought before continuing on and in silence. Heavy was not having it, he loomed over Medic, not a hard task for him. In a more angry tone: "Pyro was crying."

"Everybody cries," muttered Medic, slipping away from Heavy and rummaging through some dusty drawers, again trying to ignore him.

"Pyro wanted you to stop!" Heavy spat, a red tinge creeping into his face. 

Medic paused again, sighing deeply and looking back at Heavy, "I can't let feelings get in the vay of progress."

Heavy, almost seeing red, stamped over to Medic, looking like he wanted to grab the mad Doctor and shake him up and down, "But Pyro-"

Turning to face the giant, finger now raised and pointed at Heavy's chest, "I vill do vhatever it takes, Misha!!! And stop act like you have the moral high ground!!"

Silence returned. A mini stare-off between them. Then Medic turned away, pressing his hands against the top of the draw in tight fists, "I'm not going to let 'morality' and 'ethics' get in the vay of my goals." He continued, his head hung low, "If I start thinking about the consequences of my actions...if I do that now...I'll regret everything that I've done to get here and everything I have sacrificed vould be for naught. I've done too much and come too far to stop now."

He looked back at Heavy with a terrifyingly determined look in his eyes, "And if you have such a big problem about it, do something next time instead of vatching, you schweinhund."

Heavy stood stunned, trying to find the right words to respond, but his limited vocabulary in English was delaying him. As he started to utter a response Soldier and Demoman came tumbling into him, wrestling over a scary clown painting. "I saw it first, maggot!!" screamed Soldier. Demoman responded with something but it was unintelligible to all ears. Heavy quickly untangled himself from them, but Medic had slipped away again during the confusion.

He sighed, defeated, this was not the first time Medic had done something he would dub 'too far', even by Medic's terrible standards. The experiments...they had been getting more dangerous, and starting to lean towards having a more cruel edge to them that was deeply troubling Heavy. For now he'd have to help find this 'book' and sort out the mess Medic made later.

Scout was actually trying to find the book, hoping if he found it first he could impress Miss Pauling with his searching skills. He was checking under, in, and around every Gothic item he could find. Soon he found himself walking past some familiar items. They were from the Carnival of Carnage, the spooky fair that Merasmus hosted every year trying to steal souls from the Mercs. Among the items were the bumper-cars, rubber ducks, machine parts he was sure Engi would find interesting, and posters. While he was no fan of the stinky wizard, he couldn't lie, seeing some of this stuff up-close and not trying to kill you was pretty cool. 

Coming to the end of the row he stepped out into a surprisingly clearer area filled with cloth draped furniture spaced out in almost an orderly fashion. On impulse, Scout pulled off one of the sheets. "Hey guys, check out these fun mirrors!" Ignoring the lack of response he shrugged and pulled down a few more, each surface reflecting a warped version of himself - stretched, shrunk, possibly possessed - but the last one seemed different. It took him a moment to realise that his reflection was normal, but the frame was oddly horse-themed. Horse shoes ringed the base, and at the very top was a stylised prancing pony suspended within a giant horseshoe. The frame was purple and studded with magenta crystals that Scout would call 'purply-pink'. "Maybe it's supposed to be lucky?" Scout wondered aloud. As he was frowning at it, he became aware of footsteps behind him and Sniper came to stand next to him. He quickly looked the strange mirror over, "Maybe...if you break it, it gives you good luck?"

"Well it's not the book we're looking for." Spy remarked, appearing from behind one of the other mirrors and coldly surveying the area. 

"Girls like horses right?” Mused Scout, ignoring him, “Do ya think Miss Pauling would like this mirror?" Sniper shrugged and went back to digging through trash while Spy moved closer, examining the gems decorating the frame and probably determining if they were real or not.

Then a voice called out,"Hello fellows. How's the trash diving going?"

Sniper stopped.  _ Spy? _ He turned to see Spy, arms crossed casually at the entrance to the ‘hall’ of mirrors they were in.  _ That can’t be right,  _ Sniper thought, his hand automatically going to his knife as he turned back to the Spy beside the horse mirror. He was fixing his tie, while Scout flexed at his own reflection.

“Oh you got to be bloody kidding me.”

Head snapping back to the Spy who had just appeared, Sniper could see a shocked expression appearing on the masked man’s face. As the new Spy reached for his hidden balisong he was suddenly shoved aside by Engineer, "Hey fellas, I've got some more bad news-what the hell is going on in here!"

A panicked shout, cussing, and the sound of breaking glass. Sniper’s neck was starting to hate this back and forth as he looked back to the Spy who had been beside Scout. But Spy was no longer there, he was lying unconscious next to the broken mirror he had been thrown against. Scout in the meanwhile was getting choked by a black misty hand protruding from the mirror he had been posturing in front of moments ago.

Along with the mystery hand, a dark mist oozed out of the mirror, quickly surrounding them in ink blackness. The only light left was the glow permeating from the mysterious mirror, revealing the silhouette of the shadowy figure stepping out of it - the owner of the hand. The figure’s body seemed to be made out of the same substance as the surrounding mist and his grip was still choking a struggling Scout - and seemingly unaffected by the flailing kicks to its head. 

Suddenly, glowing white orbs, flickering like candle flames, appeared in the place where eyes  _ should _ have been. It was hard to tell where it was looking at a given time, but Sniper had the impression he could feel its 'eyes' on him. Studying him. Before moving onto the next Merc.

Charging out of the darkness, Demoman alongside Soldier shoute a joint battle cry. In their hands was a weird lamp and part of a torn picture frame as improvised weapons. They charged the mysterious figure, which simply stepped aside and let the two go past it and into the mirror. But instead of smashing into it as Sniper expected, they slipped through the mirror's surface and disappeared into the light.

Its orb eyes seemed to be staring in the direction of where the two had gone, before turning back to Sniper. 

"Hah!" A wooden wardrobe came hurtling out of the darkness, but the ‘thing’ caught it with surprising ease with its free hand. It appeared to examine the projectiles before casually crushing the offending furniture into pieces.

Once done 'studying' the remains of its handiwork, it made a 'come hither' gesture and Sniper suddenly felt the darkness solidify and start closing in around him, pushing his form towards the shadowy being. He started hacking at the darkness with his knife, hoping to try and do something other than let it get away with whatever this thing intended to do to them...but it was all for naught. The thing turned, stepping back into the glowing mirror, dragging the limp form of Scout with it. Soon the darkness covered Sniper, like being smothered by a heavy blanket, drowning out his senses. His last thought as he fell into unconsciousness was:  _ Bugger. _

***

**Location:** Merasmus’ Storage Unit **Time:** 1: 47 pm

Miss Pauling was ready for a fight. She was ready to take them down if that's what she had to do. What she  _ wasn't _ ready for was to find that the Mercs were no longer in Merasmus’ unit. It was completely devoid of life, well,  _ human  _ life anyway as a slightly bruised moth fluttered by. 

Gun still raised, she crept closer. There were signs they had been here: a broken mirror, thrown about objects, but now...nothing. "Hello? You guys? Anyone still here?" But nothing answered back.

"Great. Now what am I going to tell the Administrator?..."

_ ***END OF PART 1*** _


	2. Season 0 Broken Mirror : Episode 01 Part: 2 - Transition and Transformation

**_(TF2/MLP crossover)_ **

**SEASON 0**

**Episode 1 - Part 2:** **  
** **‘Transition and Transformation’**

**Location:** Unknown **Time:** 9:47am

Sniper felt cold, hungry, and was starting to regret whatever life choices he had made to lead him to waking up with rocks sticking into his body at uncomfortable angles.  _ How much did I drink last night?  _

He groaned, and started opening his eyes. Drowsy, and seriously needing a cup of coffee right now, he could hear the others around him, the closest being Soldier and Demoman to the right of him...talking about...sheep? His head was too unfocused to really pay attention to their annoying chatter. The dirt in front of him did grab his attention though.  _ Huh? What’s with this colour?  _ He could feel with his hands and see with his eyes that the ground was not the rock hard desert terrain he was used to camping in, so where were they? And wait...was there something on his face!?  _ Dangit Scout what did you do this time! _

He reached up with his left hand to try and grab the thing, but jolted backwards as a talon came into view instead. He was about to shout out when he spotted something strange on the yellow talon...his watch. 

Sniper froze, becoming more awake at the sudden realization, and as a sinking feeling washed over him and settled in his gut. He nervously thought about moving his hand left and right, and watched the talon obey. No mistake then. This talon  _ was _ his hand. Sniper took in a breath, calming his now very alert nerves to at least try and stay ‘professional’ about his predicament.  _ So I’ve been turned into a bird? Can’t be worse than having my head turned into a bomb by that wizard...right? _

Trying to at least sit up, he took more notice of his body and how it felt...it didn’t feel small like a bird. He still felt that most of himself was there....so maybe he was only  _ part  _ bird? Maybe a man-bird? With that thought he tried to stand, ‘try’ being the operative word here as whatever new body he was in did not agree to his plan. He grunted for a bit, trying to get his limbs and body to obey.

Finally he was able to force himself up awkwardly on his legs but what had been just a heavy weight on his back now stretched out into what he could assume were his new ‘wings’ before he started falling backwards from the sudden shift in weight. Sniper was only saved from falling backwards thanks to what he would guess was ‘instinct’ taking over. His wings sharply flapped, and his body automatically balanced himself and helped him settle into a seated position. 

_ Yep I am definitely some sort of bird...thing? Maybe the Doc would know?  _ He thought, while taking more notice of his new found limbs. He found that his wings were oddly flexible as he could bring them round to look at them. It felt strangely calming, he was transfixed by how they felt, the way they stretched out, how the air moved around them and to his astonishment he found he could move the last three feathers like fingers.  _ Weird. _

He looked more closely at his ‘arms’ again. The yellow talons covered by his gloves and their rough scaly skin travelled up to his wrist before meeting brown feathers. Sticking out on the outer side of each wrist were weirdly large tufts of feathers at least 20cm in length - how he had missed them at first glance was beyond him. Following the brown plumage up to his elbow he was surprised to notice that he was still wearing his uniform as his feathers disappeared under his red shirt sleeve, “Well at least I’m not naked-”

“AHHHH!!!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HANDS!!!”

Sniper snapped to attention and looked to his right and saw...a light brown, winged...horse? It was wearing Scout’s uniform...well...most of it, minus everything below the waist...was that a tattoo? And guessing from the breeze Sniper could feel he was probably in the same predicament.  _ Okay, either I’m still asleep or someone slipped me something. _

Turning his focus back to ‘Scout’ he saw the horse-bird was sitting on his haunches and looking in panic at his hooves, moving them side to side like he expected them to split apart and become hands again. “Okay, this is  _ not  _ cool, I would really like my hands back, right now!” Scout’s voice quavered, his wings started fluttering up and down in a panicked motion seemingly in response to his feelings. Startled by the unexpected sound, Scout jumped, landing on his hooves and trying to run away from the ‘noise’ right behind him. He ran in a tight circle, screaming while twisting his head in an attempt to see what was there before inevitably tripping and landing on his face - his wings finally coming to a halt flopped comically forward to cover the young runner’s head. Finally able to see the new limbs, Scout finally put the dots together. 

“Do I have freakin' wings!!?” he cried in shock,

“Ya not the only one mate,” Sniper spoke up, and Scout turned towards him as he slowly got back onto his new hooves.

“Snipe is that you?”

“Who else has this accent?”

There was a pause as the two seemed to take in each others’ new forms, Sniper noticing that he was much taller than Scout now. Not that he wasn’t before, but  _ now _ Scout only reached up to Sniper’s collarbone. He guessed Scout was more of a winged pony than a horse as the size and build didn’t really match. Scout had a light brown body and unkempt dirty blonde mane and tail, the upper part of his uniform still remained intact, he even had his hand wraps on the ankle of his hooves. His hat and headgear were still there despite the new ear placement, but the oddest thing was the ‘tattoo’ on his flanks. He had one on either side that were identical, a silver baseball bat with pale yellow wings coming out of the sides. Sniper was about to ask when Scout got those done but was interrupted.

“Wow...you’re a weird looking bird, Snipes,”

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed,” Sniper snarked back “Am I at least a pretty bird?” He joked.

“Naw, I’ve seen pigeons that are prettier lookin’ than ya!” 

The two chuckled, their laughter getting the attention of the others. 

“An’ what are ya’ll laughin’ at!” Demoman’s voice was unmistakable, which was good because the form he took was not something the two of them were familiar with. The best description Sniper could give was that he was staring at a ‘long’ black sheep, tall in both the legs and neck department.  _ I guess that’s what Demo and Soldier were talkin’ about earlier  _ Sniper mused to himself. 

Demoman(?) still had all the upper part of his uniform and headgear, minus the grenade launcher ammo. His body was almost completely covered in bouncy black wool, leaving only the face and legs shorn close to reveal his brown skin. Sniper also noticed that Demoman didn’t smell as strongly of alcohol as usual, but rather... _ apples? _ And that he had more of a ‘focused’ look in his one black eye. 

“Eh, we’re just tryin’ to lighten’ the mood, this is really weird,” Scout replied and Demo nodded in agreement.

“I would drink to that, lad, but I’m all out. Wherever that shadow took us, he didn’t take my scrummy with me!” He shouted angrily, and pointed behind them. 

The mention of the shadow triggered Sniper’s memory and he almost kicked himself for forgetting. He was about to speak up when he followed Demo’s outstretched hoof and stopped as he finally noticed what was behind them. 

The group were in front of a large stone statue of a pony rearing up on its haunches with a happy smile on its face, in the middle of what Sniper guessed would be a town square. They appeared to be in a peaceful looking town with thatched roofing in a more forested area. At first he didn’t register that the ‘locals’ were the other strange creatures giving them a wide berth and odd looks. Not that he would blame them given all the screaming a few moments ago.

_ Okay...lots of ponies with butt-tattoos, _ Sniper thought, watching the inhabitants. They seemed to be mostly ponies, but there were other... _ creatures _ among the crowd. The other thing that stood out was the range of colours, apparently ‘normal’ here was every colour combo under the sun. There were also other bird-ponies like Scout, and some with a single spiral horn on their forehead. The one thing they had in common was that all the adults had these strange marks.  _ Maybe that’s just something ponies have around here...wherever  _ here _ is. _

“Vis is fascinating, isn’t it?” Medic spoke up beside him. Sniper hadn’t even noticed the Doctor until now, but there he was, with what  _ had  _ to be Heavy looming right alongside the mad doctor, practically casting a shadow over the group with his size. While Heavy had always been a big guy, now he was a giant in comparison, probably the biggest horse Sniper had ever seen. 

Heavy was mostly brown, but slightly darker on the fetlocks. Like the others he still wore the upper part of his uniform. He had a slight, white smudge marking on his forehead, zero mane, and a brown tail tied up short. He also had a strange mark on his haunches, it looked like a bear paw with an orange horseshoe placed in between the claws and the pad, with six yellow nails in the horseshoe. 

Medic on the other hand was a pony similar to those that were walking by - a white unicorn, still wearing his lab coat, shirt, and,  _ surprisingly,  _ pants. Medic had a black mane and tail with a silver streak going down the middle of both, his glasses now shaped to fit his new muzzle and a part of his fringe was curled in front of his new horn and he looked too gleeful about their predicament. Meanwhile, it was clear Heavy was trying to keep a neutral expression, but with his horse ears pinned back it was easy to tell he wasn’t happy. 

“Oh I can’t wait to study them,” Medic spoke, eyeing the other creatures like a kid in a candy store.

“Medic, we don’t need ya causing any issue with the locals right now,” Spoke up Engineer coldly.

“ _ Sigh. _ FINE.” Medic, rolling his eyes, announced. 

Sniper turned to where Engineer’s voice came from to find a large bipedal lizard with scales the same colour as his red shirt uniform. He was wearing an orange work helmet with grey spikes coming out the top, dark goggles, and grey frills where the ears should have been. He was also sporting a work glove on the right hand, a utility belt around the waist, and orange knee pads. He had a dark grey scaley underbelly, and a long tail with a spade shaped bit at the end - also covered in a material similar to the work glove - and grey spikes going down his back. He was a head shorter than Sniper but slightly bigger than Medic. Something Sniper was sure the once former short texan would be happy about. 

Then they heard a ruckus behind them.

“Tell us where we are!” Yelled Soldier

“Get the heck off me!!” Shouted Scout as he was pounced upon by the most idiotic teammate. Soldier in his new form had pinned Scout beneath him, his front claws around the young runner's neck. Soldier’s new form still had his helmet and upper part of his uniform too, but his body was now part bald eagle and lion.

“Get _ off _ him, Soldier,” said Engineer sharply as he pushed past the others and grabbed Soldier’s claws, carefully prying them off Scout’s neck before they could do any real damage - which had amazingly not happened yet considering the sharp talons the helmet-head was now packing.

“We don’t have time to be fightnin’ each other and-” looking around, “where the hell is Spy?”

“I’ve been here this whole time,” spoke said backstabber, who seemed to show up out of nowhere as usual but...well, Sniper wasn’t sure  _ what  _ Spy was but whatever he was appeared to be the only one suffering from a bit of a wardrobe malfunction - something Spy seemed to be aware of, judging by the barely concealed expression of rage. 

“Hey, naked Spy!” Chirped Soldier seeming to move on from his attempt to strangle Scout. 

Spy appeared to be a weird bug-horse, almost blood red in colour, with blue orbs for eyes with paler spots for what Sniper presumed to be his irises. Spy’s ears were pointed and the more exposed part of the earlobes were black with a notch in the middle of them. He had three red gems around the base of his neck, the skin of which faded in colour from blood red to white as it met his collarbone. His back looked like that of a beetle, it was, again, red, and the carapace was shiny with black spots. The under part of his body was black too. His tail was the same red as his back, but looked like the wing of an insect: translucent but strangely sparkly in the sunlight. Spy had slightly darker spots on the tips of his ears, the edges of his legs, under the eyes, and on the muzzle - it kind of reminded Sniper of a Panda. A really  _ ugly  _ panda.

“Okay, so...now what?” Grumbled Sniper, “Looks like everyone is here,”   
“Yes, well,  _ now  _ gentlemen, why don’t we move somewhere where we aren’t making quite so much of a spectacle of ourselves,”    
“Says the weird naked bug monster,” Scout muttered, but following Spy all the same. 

The group wandered awkwardly through the town, it was hard to place the era of the building design. The roofs may have been thatched, but then there were signs of electrical cabling. There were brick buildings and cobbled stone paths, but then brightly painted shops in pinks, yellows and blues. They passed food stalls with vendors selling fruit and vegetables...but no meat. Not too surprising considering the local population though. They finally ducked into an alley that seemed sufficiently devoid of local inhabitants - as well as garbage, as Spy had refused 2 previous alleyways because of the proximity to the rubbish bins. 

“So are we still on earth?” Scout asked. 

“Please tell me that was your attempt at humour and not a serious question.”   
Scout looked back at the streets full of mythical creatures going about their daily business, “So that’s a ‘no’, then?”

“Well I reckon by our new forms and the creatures roaming this town,” Engineer drummed his claws on his work glove, “...fellas? I think we might be in what they call, ‘another dimension’.”

“That stinkin’ wizard did this!” Shouted Demoman, hoof raised in an attempt at a fist, “Who bloody  _ else _ would leave some kind of shadow monster in a girly horse mirror?” 

“I told you he was the worst roommate!” Snapped Soldier, his wings flaring upwards. Eyeing the joint display of flared feathers and raised hooves, Scout looked puzzled, “Hey, guys, I gotta question. What are we?” The Mercs looked between each other in their new forms, then in unison turned to their most ‘intelligent’ comrades: Medic and Engineer. 

“Vell, you see-”

“I can tell ya!” Demo loudly interrupted, “I grew up with this kind of thing!”

He then proceeded to point to his teammates.

“You’re a dragon,” to Engineer.

“Medic’s been turned into a pretty girly unicorn,” he snorted, while Medic rolled his eyes at that comment.

“He’s  _ ah _ griffin,” to Soldier who seemed to have discovered his tail and was trying to catch it.

“Heavy’s just a big ass horse,” Heavy seemed a little disappointed by that.

“Scout’s a pegasus, and you guys...” pausing to examine Spy and Sniper, his face frowning and scrunching up, like he was trying to remember something important though looking like he ate a sour grape instead, before shrugging his shoulders in defeat “I have no bloody clue.”

“Well there ends our expert’s ‘expertise’” grumbled Spy, still annoyed at the loss of his suit. 

“So, wait, what are you then?” Asked Scout.   
“I’m…” Demo pincered his little hooves in front of his head and cocked his head sideways before locking his single eye with Scout’s, dead serious, “not nearly drunk enough for this.”   
“Oh for the- he’s a llama you cretins,” snapped Spy.   
“...what’s a llama,” echoed about half the group.   
Spy gritted his teeth and pointed at Demo.   
“...so...it’s a sheep?” Asked Scout.   
“For - NO it’s not a- you know what, FINE. It’s a sheep. He’s a weirdly elongated  _ monstrous _ sheep.”

Soldier nodded his head in approval, “I knew it.”   
“Right, before we continue this discussion I believe we need someone to keep watch.” Spy calmly surveyed the group, “Someone whose conversational input won’t be missed. Scout, go keep an eye on things.”

“Sure thing- HEY!”    
“Move it, soldier,” Soldier started headbutting Scout away,   
“What the hell man.”  _ DUNT  _ “ _ Geez, I’m going already! _ ” Scout grumbled but trotted down to the alley entrance, kicking a stone as he went.

“Next, we need more information.” Spy continued, “beginning with the basics of where we are.”

“Maybe we could ask one of the locals?” Offered Sniper.   
“Right, assuming they vould even understand us.” Added Medic, “Does anyone speak horse?”   
“Got it. Grabbing the intelligence.” Soldier suddenly stampeded past the sulking Scout, stuck his head out of the alleyway, and accosted the first pastel pony that crossed his path.

“HEY. PONY. WHERE. IS. THIS. PLACE?!”

The terrified blue pony stuttered in confusion,“...F-Fortrotsville?”   
“What? SPEAK ENGLI-” Before any more damage could be done, Heavy scooped up Soldier with one large hoof and pulled him back into the gloom of the alleyway. Scout, completely forgetting he was supposed to be on watch, stared pointedly at his own hooves and then back to Heavy, “Hey, how’d ya do that?!” Heavy paused, looked down, and shrugged, “Think of as hands and they work like hands?”   
Every hoofed member of the group immediately started trying to pick up the nearest object or tug at their own clothing. Engi and Sniper shared a look that said,  _ I’m glad I have hands.  _ Well, claws, anyway.  __

“Excellent,” said Spy through gritted teeth, “two and a half answers and more questions.”   
Soldier beamed, “You’re welcome.”   
“I was being  _ sarcastic. _ ”   
“Bless you.”

Spy glowered at Soldier and turned his attention to Scout instead, “Shouldn’t you be  _ doing  _ something?” Scout paused in his attempt to pick up a stone with his hoof, “Like what?”   
“Look, mama! It’s more of those creatures that work for the Red Bread Bakery!!!” a young child's voice called out cheerfully. The Mercs froze and looked hastily at the entrance to the alleyway where, sure enough, a curious foal was waving ecstatically at them. Soldier casually waved back.

“Now, come along dear, you shouldn’t point and shout at strangers. It's rude,” remarked a female voice. As the Mercs watched, a light blonde, pink furred pegasus quickly stepped up to her similarly coloured offspring and led the child away.

“Well, it seems this town is familiar with our uniforms,  _ luckily for us, _ ” Spy commented dryly while glaring at the failed lookout.

“That’s pretty surprising, considering you’re lacking one!” chortled Scout, getting a snort out of the others and oblivious to the intensifying dagger-like glare from Spy. 

“That is strange, maybe a coincidence?” Heavy wondered. 

“Possible, I mean, anyzhing is possible at vhis moment,” replied Medic.

“Or if I may interject,” spoke Spy, “If they are familiar with our ‘attire’ then that means there may be other mercenaries here. It’s not like we haven’t gone under the alias of ‘Red Bread’ when traveling around for assignments for the Administrator.”

“True, but is that good news or bad news for us?” Questioned Sniper.

Engineer jumped in, “Actually, before we get into more about the  _ where _ , and the  _ what ifs,  _ I’d like to know more on the  _ why. _ ”   
“Yes.” Agreed Medic, “ Or, more precisely, vhat did you  _ dumkopfs _ break _? _ ”   
“Hey! Why do you always assume it’s us?” Cried Scout.    
There was a silence. Everyone looked at Scout.    
“ _ Fine.  _ Why do you always assume it’s  _ me.  _ Happy?”   
There were general murmurings of agreement.    
“Whatever, all I did was stand in front of a mirror and a weird shadow monster came out and attacked Spy.” As Scout relayed the events of the ‘magic mirror’ incident up until the point he blacked out, Sniper felt like he had forgotten something in all this but shook his head, they had to focus, it would come back to him eventually. 

“Interesting, ve vere caught by shadows too, and then...nothing.”

“Hey, that reminds me.” Piped up Scout, “We were all knocked out, but Demo and Soldier went through the mirror by themselves. Did you guys blackout too or did you see where that creepy shadow guy went?”

“Aye, we can tell ya tha tale. There we were, havin’ a gentleman’s discussion over the spoils of battle-”   
“We were fightin’ over a clown painting,”   
“An’ then we heard the girlish scream of a comrade in trouble-”   
“I didn’t scream, I was choking!”   
“So we grabbed the nearest blunt instruments we could find and rushed that shadow monster. We fought gloriously but alas-”   
“Oh please,” Sniper rolled his eyes, “he side-stepped you guys and you went through a portal.”   
“There was a bright light, and a weird feelin’ like going through a taffy machine. Then, we were here, an’ lookin’ like  _ this. _ ”   
“We had no guns. But we had our wits.” Soldier nodded sagely, “And our lamp.”    
“Vait,” Medic held up a hoof to halt the rambling briefly, “travelling through the portal removed all our veapons but you vere still holding something from Merasmus’ collection?”

“Affirmative.”

“Err, then, where  _ is  _ the lamp?” Scout looked around, as if it might somehow appear.   
“Demo traded it,” Soldier turned and gave a helmeted glare, “and he’s bad at sharing.”

“Oh aye, one a them pastel ponies took a real likin’ to it so we traded it...for  _ this!”  _ Demo suddenly pulled a bottle out of his chest fluff, and brandished it proudly.

“Woah, you have a chest pocket?!” Scout exclaimed.

“ _ Scout,  _ please try to focus,” said Spy, face-hoofing, “Demo, what is  _ that _ ?”   
“Apple Cider.” Demo took a swig, “sadly, non-alcoholic.” Soldier made a swipe for it with one claw but Demo expertly managed to play keep-away. While Spy mumbled in frustration to himself on the loss of apparently the one tradeable item for currency. 

“No offense fellas, but did you see anything else... _ important _ ?” Engineer asked.

“Negative.” Soldier gave up on trying to grab the cider, “We did nothing but drink cider and watch you fall out of the statue portal.”   
“... _ Statue  _ portal?”   
“Aye,” said Demo, stowing the cider back in his chest fluff, “the one we all came through.”   
“Do you mean to tell us…” said Spy with mounting anger, “that not  _ only  _ did you already know the locals spoke english, you also  _ knew _ that the  _ statue - t _ he one we  _ left behind,  _ FAR behind - is the portal we need to possibly get  _ back?!” _

Soldier and Demo paused and looked at each other, seemed to think about it for a moment, then nodded.    
“I hate you guys so much.”

Engineer watched the back and forth quietly, he’d been trying to find the right time to bring up the conversation he’d overheard from Miss Pauling, but in all the commotion it hadn’t seemed right. But he was starting to realise that there was never going to be a ‘good time’ to tell them. And now that they might actually have a chance of getting back to their dimension...he’d be better off just getting it over with before anything else crazy happened.    
“If we’re heading back, there’s somethin’ you fellas ought to kno-” 

“Do you have any sense at all left in those pickled brains of yours?”

“Weren’t ya listenin’ laddy? It’s  _ apple  _ cider,”   
“And that is  _ not  _ a vegetable.” Soldier said with proud confidence.   
“Thank-you Soldier, that’s very enlightening.”

Engineer frowned as the bickering continued unheeded, he tried again, “Hey, fellas? It’s about Miss Pauling-”

“Hey chillout Spy, you’re only mad cos we’re all awesome and you’re a freaky beetle horse.”   
“Actually, vhatever he is must also be native to this land, but it’s curious zat he is the only one who looks like zat.”   
“Yeah, but that’s the same for Snipes, except he’s some cool giant killer bird thing.” Scout gestured broadly at Spy’s unusual form, “ Looking at  _ Spy  _ makes me want to hit him with a fly-swatter...not that I didn’t already feel like that, heh.”

“Oi, FELLAS!” Engineer roared, determined to get their attention, and succeeding...but for completely different reasons than he intended as a small gout of flame flared from his mouth. There was a pause as the group registered this.    
“See, fire-breathin’ dragon, like I said,” Demo patted Engineer heartily on the back.

“Hey Engi,” laughed Scout, “why don’t you do a Spy check?”

Silence. Scout’s laugh died awkwardly in his mouth as he slowly shut it.

Soldier solemnly walked up to Scout and rested a claw on his back, then smacked him up the back of the head, “Too soon, son.”

  
But Sniper was frozen for another reason. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten up to now, they  _ did  _ need to do a Spy check. He locked eyes with Spy, had there been a reaction? Some knee-jerk fear of being incinerated that was ingrained into any wary Spy? There was some emotion hidden there, but on such an alien face it was hard to tell if it was realisation or fear. 

“Right, so...anyways,” Scout cleared his throat, “new plan. Ditch the alley. Get back to the statue. Leave magical ponyland. Find the dumb book, and find Miss Pauling.”

Engineer raised a draconic claw hesitantly, “Err, about that fellas. I’m not so sure we should try to find Miss Pauling.”

  
“What? Why not?” Demanded Scout.

  
“Well...the thing is...I overheard her phone call to the Administrator. It sounded like Miss Pauling was fixin’ to get rid of us after we found that book for her.”   
“No way. She’d never do that to us.” Objected Scout.

“Scout, we  _ all  _ know she’s just as capable an assassin as we are. Probably better,” said Sniper.    
“Hmmph, speak for yourself.” Muttered Spy, “Did you hear  _ why _ the Administrator wants to dispose of us?”

“Heh,” said Demo, “does tha’ evil witch really need a reason?” 

“Even  _ she _ wouldn’t throw away a resource that she could still use.” offered Sniper, “I doubt Pyro’s passing is a good enough reason to kill us either.”

“Maybe it was Medic’s experiment…?” Scout looked sheepishly at the unicorn.

“The Uber-Heart is something vhat vould benefit us all, I just need to vork out some of the bugs, but surely my experiments-” 

“I will have to agree with Medic,” Spy interrupted with a hoof wave, “I feel the timing is a bit off for that to be the cause, it seems this was planned.” 

“Then why look for book if she planned to kill us?” Heavy rumbled, “Why not attack us at the base?” The group thought for a moment, Scout still just shaking his head disbelievingly.

“Respawn.” Engineer suddenly added with cold certainty, “She needed to take us far enough away that respawn wouldn’t pick us up.”

Scout looked frantically around the group, “That’s crazy, you’re not all really buying this, right? Miss Pauling’s not like that.”

“Whatever you may believe, Scout, it’s simply too dangerous to waltz back in there and into a potential ambush.” Sniper tried to sound reasonable, but as he stepped towards Scout, a suspiciously quiet member of the group suddenly spoke up with a surprisingly angry tone. 

“That’s traitor talk. Our orders are to retrieve the book.” The others - with the exception of Scout - looked at Soldier in confusion, was he an idiot? OH. Wait. Nevermind. In the end, Demo broke the silence. 

“Weren’t you listenin’ laddy? She’s the one betrayin’  _ us _ !”    
“It’s not our job to question orders.” Soldier suddenly sat to attention, and placed a clawed hand over his general presumed heart area of his chest, and began loudly and passionately speechifying, “It’s our duty to return to Miss Pauling and retrieve that book. Whether we risk life and limb. Even if we die. Even if we have to crawl as zombies to complete the mission, complete it we  _ shall. _ And if any traitors want to mutiny, well, you’ll have to go through me.”

One minor dogpile later. The muffled protests could still be heard from underneath Heavy’s hooves as he kept Soldier pinned to the ground. 

“Right, all zhose in favour of  _ not  _ being murdered, say aye.”    
“Aye!”   
“I - think we should,  _ not  _ do that. I mean,” Scout flailed both arms and words in an attempt to be persuasive, “not  _ not  _ be murdered. We’re not  _ going  _ to be murdered, because-”   
“Because ve’re not going through ze portal at all. Ve can make our stand here.”   
Engineer crossed his arms, but his expression was neutral, “Explain.”

“Ve know Miss Pauling has firearms, ve only have knives. Here, ve do not have even zat, but ve have these new bodies, and the time ve have spent learning to control them. If ve can lure Miss Pauling here instead, she too vill be transformed, and in her confused state, vulnerable, and easy to capture. Interrogate, and resolve the situation as we see fit. Any questions?”

“One,” Sniper raised a claw for emphasis, “why would she come in here? If it wasn’t for the shadow monster we wouldn’t have ever known about this place.”

“Zhe book, of course,” said Medic with an evil grin. 

“So, someone goes back, either finds the book, or  _ pretends  _ to find the book and jumps through the portal with it?” Engineer asked.    
“Ja, as long as Miss Pauling is not avare zhat ve know the truth, she vill have no reason to attack until after ve have secured the book.”

“Assuming nothing goes wrong, of course.” Spy said, looking sideways at the frantic Scout and the struggling but currently harmless Soldier.

“And that the portal even works both ways. Or is still operational.” Engineer muttered.

“Zhere are variables, yes, but ve vill not know until ve return to the portal and make use of a...test subject.” 

Engineer bristled at the words but held his tongue. 

“Look, if it  _ is  _ a misunderstanding, we’ll clear it up,” Sniper patted Scout on the shoulder, “We’ll capture Miss Pauling, find out the truth, and deal with the situation then.”

“I can clear it up right now.” Scout brushed off Sniper’s talon and suddenly booked it down the street. “By asking Miss Pauling myself!”

“Scout, wait!” Sniper gave chase but he had no hope of closing the distance.

“Good job, son, COMPLETE THE MISSION!” Soldier squawked from underhoof.

“Demo, charge ‘im!” Engineer yelled.

“On it, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

Scout turned to look over his shoulder to see a glowing red llama bearing down on him. In the narrow alley there was no way to avoid him. All he could do was hope to reach the exit so he could hook a sharp turn and lose him. He was almost there but the enraged screaming was right behind him and every instinct told him he was not going to make it. Then a new instinct kicked in, as Scout’s wings snapped open and he soared into the sky. 

Demo hurtled out of the alleyway and collided with the opposite wall, his wool somehow acting as a more effective cushion than one would expect as he ricocheted onto the cobbles.

“No, he’s getting away!” 

“Bugger. Do you think I can do that?” Reflexively, Sniper tried to open his wings and winced as they smacked into the alley walls. “No good, I’ll need somewhere with more clearance.”

“Why not Spy go?” Heavy asked, nodding towards 

“What are you talking about?”

“You have...bug back, bug..wings? Like, ladybug?” 

Spy paused and thought about this, “I don’t- how do I move them?”

“Think of them like an extra pair of arms, that’s how mine work.” Sniper offered helpfully.

Spy seemed to be concentrating as slowly a pair of thin insectoid wings stretched out from beneath their protective shell and trembled uncertainly in the air.

“Good, now you can fly.” Heavy grabbed Spy in one hoof and hurled him unceremoniously skywards. The backstabber shrieked but as his body began to fall earthwards again, it seemed to automatically bring himself into a hover and righted himself. Cussing them out in french he began pursuing the rapidly disappearing form of Scout.

“Goodluck mate!” Sniper called, 

“Good. Now, your turn.”

“Wait, wha-”

As Sniper followed Spy’s suit - screaming into the sky before swearing at his comrades - Demo trotted back a little unsteadily into the alleyway once more.

“Well, now what?”

“Release me you traitorous dogs!” With Heavy removing a hoof to hurl his teammates, Soldier appeared to have gotten a second wind and was attempting to wriggle free.

“ _ Sigh.  _ Dealing with him.” With a smile, Medic looked meaningfully at the big horse pinning the griffin, “It seems zhis vill require... _ heavy _ sedation.” 

Heavy blinked, sighed, and knocked out Soldier for the second time that day. 

“When he wakes up again we’ll just have to tell ‘im something to bring ‘im around…” Engineer adjusted the lightly dented helmet to sit more comfortably on Soldier’s unconscious head, “new mission orders or somethin’.” 

“Now for our other problem. If Scout gets there first and varns Miss Pauling ve’ll lose our element of surprise. Ve have to assume the vorst and arm up now.” 

“How?” Asked Heavy, “tiny ponies selling apples, not guns.” 

“Ah, to do zhat mein friend, ve’re going to need to buy some alcohol.”

Demo suddenly grabbed Medic roughly by his labocat collar, “Look me in the eye and say those beautiful words again.”

*** END PART 2***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get done, but you can thank my dear twin sister for helping me a lot with this chapter and editing the last chapter to make some more sense in area's that are a little confusing. 
> 
> All art is done by me, if you want to see more of my art you can go to either of the links below  
> https://scruffypegasus.tumblr.com/  
> https://www.furaffinity.net/user/eternity9/  
> https://www.deviantart.com/eternity9


	3. Episode 1 - Part 3:  ‘Flight’

**SEASON 0**

**Episode 1 - Part 3:** **  
** **‘Flight’**

**Location:** Fortrotsville airspace **Time:** 11:12am

The sun was slowly rising towards its peak and Sniper was doing his best to catch up to Spy and Scout ahead of him. His wings beat hard at his sides and, despite his new form being faster than his human one, it was still clearly not as speedy as the two mercs ahead of him. 

He also had to keep an eye out for the locals that were also flying around, nearly having a couple of midair crashes as he adjusted to this new ability. 

As he went into a glide, he noticed something to his left that was definitely not ‘pony’ shaped. His new eyes easily focused on the fast approaching creature.

“Huh, I wonder if that’s what  _ I  _ look like?” He guessed, he was aware that he had a short, dark brown, feathered mane and tail. With his sharp gaze he could see that who or whatever it was had much more colourful plumage than him. Its body was blue and its mane and tail were a light blue but with dark blue markings similar to that of a Peacock pattern save for an orange spot in the middle. It also had a dark blue scarf-like thing wrapped around its head and neck, and dark blue sunglasses perched on its beak.  _ Huh, that’s a lot of blue... _ he thought, just as he realised that its current trajectory would bring it on a direct collision course with-

“Spy! To your left, incoming bogie!” But his cry was snatched uselessly away by the wind rushing past him and the mysterious Blue slammed into Spy, bowling the weird bug horse over. Before Spy could right himself his attacker had expertly looped back and now came down in a powerful dive, catching him in its claws and carrying them both down and out of sight into an alley below. 

  
  


Sniper almost dived after them but stopped himself. Scout was getting further away...but Spy was under attack...possibly from a Blue. His eyes flicked uncertainly from the alley and back up to Scout - if he waited any longer he’d lose both of them.  _ What would Spy want me to do?  _ He thought in desperation. But he already knew the answer to that. Spy could take care of himself,  _ Scout  _ on the other hand...With a frustrated grunt he re-doubled his efforts to catch up to Scout, cursing their bad luck, but perhaps if he got to him quickly enough they could go help Spy together.

***

Spy had been... _ displeased  _ when Heavy launched him in the air to simulate take-off, but he’d consoled himself with the fact that on top of losing his suit this day could hardly get any worse - and then he’d been blind-sided by a local. 

They’d started plummeting towards the ground but as the cobbled street drew worryingly closer his assailant had pulled back hard, more than halving their speed before turning and shifting the rest of that momentum into slamming him into the alley wall - badly winding him and leaving him stunned. Now he had the left side of his face pressed into the cold stone as blue talons continued to apply pressure to his head and across his chest - pinning his arms (or he supposed, front legs) to his body while his lower legs dangled uselessly in the air. Held in place against his side like this, wings feeling uncomfortably crushed, he had only one eye free to look past the bird claws to glare at his captor - some kind of blue version of whatever creature Sniper had become, but somehow he knew this was a female. To his greater surprise he could ‘feel’ something emitting from her. 

Since becoming this form he had felt like he was sensing some extra quality from his teammates, and he had started to realise that what he was detecting appeared to be their emotional state. He’d been dismissive at first, but when Engineer had revealed Miss Pauling’s plan, the sheer strength of the emotional feedback from everyone had been impossible to ignore - including the bubbly unrequited crush that had emanated from Scout. Whatever Spy now was, he appeared to have an empathic ability, and right now he could clearly feel a chaotic mix of anger, excitement, frustration...and...fear? 

The creature was watching the sky above, body tensed in anticipation, fear of some kind of attack perhaps? A familiar brown form flashed by overhead and he realised Sniper must have been sent to follow Scout as well. At least someone had seen what had happened then.  _ Pity he didn’t  _ warn  _ me though.  _

With Sniper’s departure, Spy could feel the emotions shift in the air, fear eased off, replaced with confusion but also relief. Her talons ever so slightly relaxed their grip. He shot his left foreleg forward, slipping it free from between himself and the wall and used the sudden shift in his position to twist and kick out with his lower legs. He felt his hooves connect with her stomach but she sprung backwards, freeing him, and he clattered down onto all fours in what he hoped was a suitably menacing fighting stance.

“Wait, wait - I’m sorry, but I had to get us alone.” She raised her right talon in the air defensively and he raised a disbelieving eyebrow, her expression was a mix of aloof and coy, but he couldn’t sense any hostility from her, only a great deal of anxiety and...embarrassment?

“This is not how I wanted us to meet,” she continued, “but I had to change my plans when I realised you were here. To get to the point, your life is in danger,” she placed a hand on her chest with a sheepish smile, “and  _ not  _ from me. Although...” she trailed off, looking upwards thoughtfully, her head angled like a confused dog, “I am still surprised Sniper left you like this...it’s not like him to leave a teammate.” 

_ So she knows who we are then somehow,  _ he thought grimly. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” he lied.

His captor had been glancing skyward once more but returned her gaze quickly to him, locking eyes. 

“Well, I did work alongside a ‘Sniper’ once, they certainly wouldn’t have left  _ me _ behind,” she paused, stepping closer to Spy, fluttering her eye-lashes, “Then again, maybe you and he don’t have that level of friendship.” He casually took a step back and bumped into the wall, making him annoyingly aware that even on all fours she had the advantage in height and reach on him. 

“Or perhaps,” she tilted her head curiously, “it simply means there is something  _ else  _ that he considered more important than saving  _ you _ right now?” She waited for a reply but Spy stayed silently glaring up at her. She continued to hold his gaze, seeming to stare into his soul, but while her face was calm, he knew her true feelings weren’t. There was something beneath the sense of control, a determination that bordered on desperation. She suddenly sighed and backed off, settling onto her haunches with a mock pouting expression, “You’re no fun Spy, and far too distrusting. I hoped you’d have the sense to realise that if I  _ wanted _ to kill you, I would have just let the ground break your fall.”

“Oh yes,” Spy snorted, “I suppose crushing someone into the local architecture is just a quaint little custom here? A traditional greeting perhaps?”

“Thankfully not in  _ this _ land, I just wasn't expecting you, Romelo. When I sensed you were here it brought up...a lot of unwanted memories.”

He froze.  _ How did she know that name! _

With that smug look on her face he didn’t need to sense her emotions to know she’d been anticipating this response. If he was still in his normal body she would be regretting uttering his name aloud. 

“How do-”

“How do I know  _ your _ name?” she cut him off with a knowing smile, “Simple, Spy, it used to be  _ mine. _ ”

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville ‘Town Square’  **Time:** 11:28 am

Scout looked around, no one seemed to have followed him - of course, it wasn’t like anyone would be able to catch up to him even if they tried. Good, then he had time to make his final preparations. He stood before the statue. In front of him was the mirror-like surface. This was it. He took a deep breath...and tried his best smile. Still looked like a horse face. “Dangit, maybe if I turn my head?” It improved the look...a little...maybe?

He knew that, in theory, going through the portal would change him back. But what if it didn’t? He needed to know that he was still looking his best when he saw Miss Pauling. A winning smile was going to be key.

Scout had made it back easily to the town square where the statue stood, having learned to maneuver in flight rather quickly and if he wasn’t so desperate to get back to Miss Pauling, he would have liked to explore more in this new form, or at least the flying side. This was definitely an experience he wasn’t ever going to forget. But as he stepped towards the statue, his reflection looked back at him and his smile faltered. 

“Engineer’s got it all wrong, Miss Pauling would never do that!” He yelled to himself - not noticing the weird looks from passersby. But as he started to tentatively bring his hoof up to the surface of the statue…something was starting to make him doubt this claim, but he couldn’t figure out why...like something was nagging at him, like he had forgotten something.

But Scout quickly shook those doubts away, this was Miss Pauling they were talking about. He was going back  _ with _ or  _ without _ the others and he’d sort out this huge misunderstanding. So he put his hoof to the glass and surprisingly it went through the surface, creating ripples like waves on a pond where his hoof had passed through.

***

**Location:** Badlands, 'Storageland' units  **Time:** 2:17pm

Miss Pauling had searched the storage unit top to bottom with no sign of where the mercs could have gone. She’d checked with the clerk at the front desk but they hadn’t been seen, and their vehicles were still parked outside. They hadn’t left, at least not by any normal means, which meant there were only two options. One: the mercs must have either knocked, broken, or touched (or a combination of all three) something cursed in Merasmus’ collection. Two: a ‘Freak Event’ had happened - the main reason the Administrator wanted this ‘Red Team’ disposed of and replaced with another set of clones. 

They had detected an anomaly that morning, in sector 84, but couldn’t determine  _ which _ base. Red or Blue. The ‘Freak’ was located in one of them, but there was another problem.  _ Someone _ had tampered with the devices in  _ both  _ bases to detect these anomalies. A feat which pointed to either an Engineer or Spy, as whoever it was had managed to identify and disable multiple cameras and observation equipment without being detected. In the worst case scenario, it was more than one clone at work. It was also highly suspicious that the Red Pyro had died. Often the activation of a ‘Freak’ resulted in a loss of respawn connection. However, the anomalous reading had appeared again  _ after  _ the time of Pyro’s death. Unfortunately, with so many unknowns it had been deemed more efficient to wipe the whole slate clean and start over, with both teams. 

So now she had a problem. If the Reds had conveniently disintegrated themselves that would make one less job for her.  _ But.  _ If they  _ were  _ still alive, somewhere, and liable to reappear at any moment, that could make things messy. And to top it off, she still needed the book, which was why she was still poking around, nerves on edge, half expecting the mercs to pop out in front of her, or some deathtrap to go off. Thirty minutes later, she decided to call it. 

The Administrator was not happy with her update, but she had accepted Miss Pauling’s suggested course of action: if the Reds were nowhere to be found, then she should use the Blues instead. If the Reds returned, they could kill each other and save her half a job. Armed with a new plan, she wove her way back through the chaos towards the storage unit exit, as behind her a hand reached out of a mirror and tentatively tested the air. 

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville ‘Town Square’  **Time:** 11:31am

Scout could feel his fingers on the other side of the mirror, he waggled them experimentally, all seemed normal. He leaned forward to poke his head through, and took a deep breath - only to have it immediately knocked out of him as a wall of feathers slammed into his side. 

“Sorry mate, that was my first landing.” Sniper sheepishly disentangled himself from the pegasus sprawled on the ground, trying not to catch him on his large talons. Scout groaned in reply and staggered back to his feet, “What the heck man?!”

“I said I was sorry, but we need to think this through.” 

“I  _ have.  _ It’s you guys that aren’t thinking straight.”

“Look, Scout, we don’t have time for this. Spy’s been captured.”

“Oh sure. And let me guess, while we’re off on a wild Spy chase everyone else will be going after Miss Pauling. Not happening.”

“No, I’m serious mate. Some blue thing that looked a bit like me took him.”

“Well I don’t care. I’m going, you deal with it. I’ve got more important things to take care of.” Scout made to push past but Sniper reflexively stretched out a wing to stop him.

“Out of my  _ way  _ Snipes,”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“I said  _ move! _ ” Scout suddenly punched upwards, his hoof connecting with the underside of Sniper’s beak. Sniper’s head snapped back and he stumbled. Scout dove around him, “I’ll see you on the other side,” he called over his shoulder and dove for the mirror.  _ WHACK.  _ Scout slid to the ground, his muzzle pressed against the clearly solid surface of the statue. 

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville ‘Shopping District’  **Time:** 11:31am

Medic, Heavy, Demo, Engineer and Soldier (now awake and on a new ‘mission’) were trying to walk casually down the street in search of a bottle shop. They had managed to find the shopping district by following a group of ponies with empty saddlebags. Their current problem was finding the right store as while they could understand the spoken language, the signage for the shops was a mystery, but in most cases the display windows spoke for themselves. However, their progress had been somewhat slowed by various members of the team staring at their own reflections more than the merchandise. 

Of course, Demo was the first one to spot it. And the first one who needed to be pulled back before he went barging into the store at the sight of his beloved liquor. 

Engineer rested a clawed hand on Demo’s shoulder, saying, “Hey err guys, hate to rain on your parade but how are we planning on paying for this?” The group stood in a theoretically inconspicuous huddle near the entrance to the shop. 

“Ve’re not,” Medic snapped, “Vhich is vhy ve vill need a distraction.”

Medic stared pointedly at Soldier who at this moment was adsentmindingly scratching himself with his back leg like a flea-bitten canine.

“I...don’t think that’s necessarily a good idea,” Engineer replied, “Soldier has a rather long record of property damage and disturbing the peace. We don’t need whatever equivalent to the police is around here coming to arrest us.”

“Vhen vhat vould  _ you _ suggest? Hmmm?” 

While the others silently mulled over their limited options, Demo was trying to ignore the siren song of the bottle shop. But there was only so much that a sober llama man could take. “Screw this, I’m wingin’ it!” he turned and was through the door before anyone could stop him. 

The shop bell tinkled pleasantly as he entered, and the mare behind the counter looked up to greet him with a smile, “Hello there! Are you just browsing or looking for something in particular today?” She was a wine coloured unicorn with a black mane and tail with a white streak going down the center of both. She was also the first pony he had actually seen in this world with any semblance of clothing. She was wearing a simple white collared shirt with a red bow tie, the sleeves only came up to the elbow though, leaving her hooves free to rest on the counter in front of her. Over the top of this uniform was a short black apron with a name tag pinned to the front, but it was all unintelligible squiggles to him.

Demo put on his best winning smile, “Hey lass, would ya be so kind as ta point me in the direction of ya whisky selection?”

“Certainly, it’s right over there sir,” she indicated with her hoof, “would you like me to show you?”

Behind him, the bell rang again as the others had apparently elected to follow in after him. Demo shook his wooly head, “Naw, but thank ye lass,” and moved off while the others now stared at the array of wines, beers, and other alcoholic drinks. Some brands caught their attention more than others as while they couldn’t read the labels, there were several that had similar logos to drinks they were familiar with back home. 

“Anything I can help you with, gentlemen?” The unicorn called out to them. As the group hesitated and mumbled nonsense, Medic noted that for the time being there were no other customers in the store, and that there while he could not read the labels on the bottles behind the counter, if the imagery was anything to go by it was clearly meant for a specific kind of patron. He suddenly pushed Enginner forward. “Yes, actually. Zhere is going to be a party. Vith a dragon. Ve need a special gift, and  _ he  _ vanted to have a look at your selection  _ behind _ you. Up  _ zhere _ , I think, vasn’t that the sort of thing you vere thinking of, Engi?”

Internally cursing Medic, Engineer tried to look like he  _ wasn’t  _ being forced into blatant distraction improv and took over, “I was wonderin’ if I could maybe take a look at that one you have there, right at the top? Sorry to trouble you, it’s a bit too high up for me to read from here.”

“No trouble at all, sir.” She turned and they waited for her to fetch a ladder or step stool but watched as instead she tipped her head back and focused intently on the shelf in question. Her horn glowed pink and then the bottle Engineer had pointed out began to rise, encapsulated in the same coloured glowing aura. The bottle descended gracefully to the counter and settled with only a slight  _ clink  _ of contact with the polished wooden surface. “There you go sir, this is one of our more popular fire wines,  _ Magna-nimous.  _ As the name suggests it’s a little easier on other species - if you’re planning to share, that is.” She smiled at the group but looked a little puzzled by the expressions of surprise, “I’m sorry, when you came in together I assumed you were a group?”

“Oh, err, yes ma’am, that we are, we were just admiring your err, magical ability.”

“Thank-you sir, but this isn’t anything special,” she blinked and glanced briefly at Medic before continuing, “Would you like to look at anything else?”

“Yes, actually, could you perhaps just show us everything on the top shelf? We’d appreciate your input.”

“Of course, sir.”

This time when she turned around they all made hurrying gestures at Demo - who had also stopped to watch the display of levitation magic - and he quickly grabbed a number of likely looking bottles he had been sniffing at and tucking them out of sight into the mysterious holding space that was his chest fluff. 

As the unicorn turned back with the floating selection of options, Demo had already casually wandered out of the shop with a resounding jingle.

“Oh, did your friend leave already?”

“Don’t vorry about him,” Medic laughed cordially, “he just has very specific tastes. Anyvay, these all look and sound vonderful. Perfect for zhe party. You have been most helpful, yes, I think…” and he indicated one at random, “zhis would be good. Vhen you come back zhis evening, Engi, you can use the party fund to buy it, ja?”

“Right.” Engineer gritted his teeth but forced himself to smile convincingly, “Thanks so much for all your help.”

“Happy to be of service. Is there anything else you would like to look at?”

“No, no, thanks, we’ll get out of your hair now.”

“I’ll set this one aside for you then, shall I?”   
Engineer nodded, not trusting his voice. 

“Enjoy the rest of your day, gentlemen.” 

“I didn’t think it was possible,” Engineer leant against the wall of the  _ new  _ alleyway they were skulking in, “but it turns out it  _ is  _ possible to hate you even more.”

“You didn’t vant a loud distraction, so ve improvised, she vas only doing vhat she had to for her job, and  _ ve  _ are doing the same. More importantly,  _ DEMO!  _ Stop drinking zhe molotovs!”

Demo gave a satisfied sigh as he stopped chugging one of the bottle, “Ah, these should do it lads…although,” taking another swig to Medic’s outraged cries of horror, “Would be a darn shame to let them  _ all _ go to waste, it’s not as strong as scrumpy but it’s not bad!”

After a brief scuffle involving complaints about only ‘taste testing them’ and the general lack of sharing, the rest of the improvised weaponry was secured and they made their preparations. The others were curious about the taste, but didn’t interfere as Demo ripped off some stripes from his shirt uniform, soaking them with the whisky before stuffing the top of the bottles with the cloth. He handed one bottle to Engi and Medic, then stowed away the rest into his ‘chest pocket’. 

“The only thing we need now is somethin’ to light ‘em up.”

“I have Pyro’s lighter…” silence swept over the group as Engineer dug into one of the pouches of his utility belt and showed them the simple silver lighter.

“Vell, glad that’s sorted,” spoke up Medic, attempting to change the mood, but having the opposite effect as the others gave him a pointed look while Engineer shot him a death glare. Medic shifted uncomfortably and coughed, “Er….let’s get a move on then? That storage unit von’t burn itself.”

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville ‘Town Square’ **Time:** 11:36 am

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Scout beat his hooves futilely against the stone but it didn’t change, “It was working a minute ago!”

“Scout, SCOUT I believe you, mate, but can you keep it down,” Sniper glanced around at the growing number of odd looks they were getting, “You’re scaring the locals.”

Scout glared at Sniper, “I could have been over there if you hadn’t messed it up, now what are we going to do?”

“Well there's saving Spy for starters, and maybe Engi can pull together a universal teleporter?”

Scout said nothing, he simply sat with his front hooves crossed over his chest in annoyance and looked away from Sniper.

“Look mate, you can pout like a spoiled brat and stay here, but I’m going back for Spy!” Sniper started flapping his wings and getting ready to fly. Scout sighed in frustration but rose and began to do the same, “Fine, but Spy owes me for this.”

The two launched into the sky.

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville airspace **Time: 11: 46** am

Spy’s conversation with his captor had proved most informative. She had told him that in exchange for voicing his name she would give him hers, Oceana, but that she went by Hippogriff Spy, or ‘HippoSpy’ for short. She claimed to be a failed clone of his but still useful enough to the Administrator to go on missions. The big shock was that she was not an isolated case, and the sheer number of clones was disturbing on a number of levels, including the one closest to his heart - as much as he wanted to believe he was _himself,_ if ‘Oceana’ was to be believed, then he was likely yet another expendable cloned pawn in the Administrator’s game. The other piece of critical information was the simple matter that coming to this world had not rid them of the overseeing eye of the Administrator, or rather, they had simply exchanged one scheming boss for another: the ‘Administrataur’. The Red and Blue team existed in this world too, but under the names of the Red Bread Bakery and Blue Hue Pies - front companies for their continued mercenary work. As one could guess, she was a Blue, but working outside the usual restrictions in pursuit of information for her personal mission. While she didn’t want to explain everything right now, including her own arrival in this world, she had information to share on both this world and the one he and his teammates had come from, specifically activities by the Administrator that they would want to hear. As for where they were _now_ , they were currently in the land of Equestria, in one of its towns: Fortrotsville. She had also informed him that he was what they called, a ‘changeling’. 

“And I can change my shape at will?”

“Yes, with practice. I’m afraid I cannot give a proper lecture on the mechanics as frankly I have no idea how it works. Magic, is the short answer.”

“Well, this is all fascinating, but as you may have noticed I was kind of in the middle of a pursuit before your interruption, and while I would like to hear the rest of your story, if you are truly concerned about the Administrator then you won’t mind assisting me in preventing one of my associates from getting themselves killed by one of her agents.” 

HippoSpy had been happy to help, on the condition that he didn’t try to fly too far ahead of her, “Just remember, I’ll be  _ right  _ behind you.”

Considering her class, this did not comfort him.

***

“What are they doing  _ now _ ?”

“Still talking. Just sit still and shut it or they’re going to spot us.”   
“I don’t see why we can’t just rush ‘em…” Scout grumbled but reluctantly hunkered down lower behind the chimney that was serving as their partial cover. 

When Sniper had led Scout back to the scene of the Spy snatching, he had been expecting signs of a fight, or that they would need to question potential witnesses for clues...he had not anticipated what appeared to be a cordial conversation. 

“I mean, he’s having a nice chat, I thought he was supposed to be in danger or something,” Scout grumbled quietly. 

“I said- hang on, they’re taking off now.”

“Finally!”

“Looks like they’re headed towards the square.”

“Check again Snipes,” Scout grinned, “that Blue is heading for the  _ ground. _ ”

“Scout, wait- aaaand he’s gone.”

Spy was flying out in front but still in arms reach of HippoSpy flying close behind him. His own Spy paranoia making him glance back at her every few seconds out of force of habit.  _ You just can’t trust Spies, even ones claiming to be another version of you. _ It was during one of these regular checks that he realised there was another threat to his safety as Scout came screaming towards them in what was presumably a battlecry. Right front hoof fully stretched out in a ‘superman’ pose, Scout cannoned towards HippoSpy. “Scout, stand down!” HippoSpy had reacted the moment she saw Spy’s own look of recognition and had turned to face her attacker. She drew herself up to her full height and braced for impact- just as Scout expertly ducked past her beating wings and cannoned into Spy instead, carrying them both away and off to the side. “No!” She snatched at Scout’s tail as he passed but her talon’s only connected with the air as he zipped by. As Spy was carried off in a string of rapidly disappearing curses, HippoSpy twisted round to pursue, hoping she wouldn’t lose sight of them,“I am not your enemy!” 

“And why would we believe that?” Came a voice behind her. She knew before she looked around that it would be Sniper, although not  _ hers.  _ He looked more handsome than she had expected. But she played it cool, as always.    
“Why hi there, handsome, lose Spies here often?” She hovered and batted her eyelashes at him, admittedly taking too much pleasure in the flustered confusion that Sniper was seemingly experiencing. 

“Hang on!?” Scout’s voice carried easily over the rooftops, “Were you bugnapped by a  _ chick _ ?”

“Well,” came Spy’s dry retort, “she does appear to be a bird, mostly, so yes on two counts.” 

“Settle down boys, I’m not here to fight,” and to prove the point she perched on the nearest sturdy piece of thatched roofing, “why don’t you join me?”   
There was a long moment of hesitation. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite.”   
“Oh, no, it’s just err…”   
“We’re not good at landing.”   
“Yeah, may want to back up a little.”

One and two and three awkward landings later - and fortunately no questions from concerned occupants of the room below - they were seated and not at risk of sliding off and to the street below.

“Firstly, congratulations Scout for finally realising your incredible stupidity and returning to the team.” Scout glowered.    
“Well, the portal  _ was  _ open,” Sniper jumped in before hooves started flying, “but then it shut on us, so...we’re stuck. Unless Engi can get it working again or something.”

“Ah good, one less deadline to worry about,” HippoSpy smiled, “Looks like we can take our time to get to know each other then,” she leaned on a clawed hand and winked at Sniper who edged further along the roof.    
Scout nudged Sniper, “Hey, looks like Blue Spy likes you.”   
“I’ve  _ noticed _ .”

“Stop ogling Sniper and tell them what you told me. The abbreviated version.”

“You’re no fun, Spy,” she sighed with mock sincerity, “but actually, before I get into this...is this all of you now, because I’d hate to repeat myself a third time.”

“Oh heck no, there’s Demo and Heavy and Engi and Medic and Soldier.” Scout rattled them off, waving his hoof for emphasis to make up for his lack of fingers. HippoSpy was unable to hide her horror, “Wait, there are  _ eight  _ of you!”   
“Is that bad?” Said Scout, “Is that an unlucky number or something?”

“You have  _ no  _ idea how much attention that will bring down on us...we need to find your team immediately and bring you all up to speed or this is going to be bad for all of us.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard.” Sniper nodded to himself, “By now they should have arrived back at the...statue…” about to spread his own wings he froze as he was hit by a sudden wave of regret, “Oh...bugger.”

“What’s wrong now?”

“Err, just realised. We should ‘ave probably left a note or something.”

“Oh...” Scout frowned, but then performed a sort of mid-air shrug, “Eh. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville ‘Town Square’ **Time:** 11: 48 am

The group stood before the solid statue, with the obvious lack of Scout, Spy and Sniper. Medic and Engineer had examined the apparent portal entrance from every angle but found no changes to its clearly solid state, nor any sign of whether or not the others had used it successfully or not. 

“Perhaps it closed after they went through?” Wondered Engineer aloud,

“Or something happened to zhe mirror on zhe other side…” Medic mused gloomily,   
“So now what?” 

There was a pause.

Demo pulled out one of the bottles, and gave it an enticing shake. “Drink anyone?”

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville ‘Town Square’ **Time: 12:08** pm

A white pegasus with black patches and a grey earth pony drawing a police wagon pulled up to the town square. Officer Patty Wagon and Cuffbert Steelhoof had been called to an apparent scene of public drunkenness, but had thought, or rather,  _ hoped  _ that the report had been either heavily exaggerated or a prank. But sure enough, there was a llama and a griffin, side by side, an arm looped about each other’s shoulder as they swayed in a loud drunken rendition of some song. On the ground was a unicorn and dragon making scratches in the dirt and muttering about portals and seemingly using some discarded bottles as placemarkers or something, while the biggest pony they had ever seen sat quietly in the middle of this group looking lost on what to do. 

Officer Cuffbert looked back at the wagon he was pulling, “We’re gonna need a bigger cart.”

***

“Did you see the vay she  _ looked _ at me? Like, aren’t you vith a unicorn? He must be zhe vorst if he can’t even do  _ zhis _ .” 

“Well, she wasn’t too wrong on  _ that. _ ” Engineer muttered under his breath, but not all that quietly.    
“Ooooh, sure, bring zhat up again. You’re only going in circles, like your useless doodles.”   
“If I can just figure out what kind of power source is available-”   
“MAGIC! It’s a  _ magic  _ mirror, in a magic vorld vhere science is dead and sanity clops around on the hooves of talking horses.”   
“Don’t forget the face wands,” Demo yelled out helpfully.   
“And back to zhat. How does that even vork, she stared at it, and it moved. Vas it telekinesis?” He stared intently at one of Engineer’s bottles that represented some value and tried to move it with his mind. At first nothing happened, but slowly a red glow formed around the outer edge of the bottle. Suddenly it shot off and shattered against the statue. 

“Ha! It vorked!”

“Hey,” Engineer shot out a claw helplessly to save his diagram, “I was using that to represent-”

“I vonder vhat  _ else  _ I can do…” a mad grin spreading on his otherwise pleasantly equine features as he looked for new targets. Engineer dove protectively in front of his ground sketch. “Heavy, point him at something else, would ya?”

***

Spy, Scout, Sniper and HippoSpy watched from the sidelines.

“Well...I guess it’s safe to say that they know the portal’s broken.” Sniper said, trying to quash a sense of guilt and focus on how to get everyone out of this situation without angering the locals further. They weren’t exactly flush for bail money right now. 

“Of  _ course  _ those idiots would attract unwanted attention,” Spy sighed, “fortunately, there does appear to be only  _ two  _ of them...”

“Spy, no!”

“I meant knocking them out, I’m not a psychopath - despite the company I keep.”   
Scout was frowning in concentration at the scene, “Where do you think they got the drinks from?”

“Okay darlings, you sit here looking pretty for a little bit while I go solve your problems.” With a flick of her mane she stepped forward, touching an amulet at her neck that had apparently been hidden beneath her scarf. In a moment her form shimmered and now she was wearing a labcoat, clear glasses, and her mane was tied up in a more professional looking ponytail. 

“Afternoon Officers, thank-you for all your hard work. My subordinate and I will take it from here.”

“And who are you?” Officer Patty Wagon raised an eyebrow and looked over the suspicious newcomer. 

“I’m Doctor Obscura, I see you have found our runaway patients.”   
“...mental patients?” Guessed Officer Cuffbert,   
“Obviously,”

“Are they dangerous,”

“Of course not-”

A bottle promptly glowed red, floated into the air, and exploded into fine glass powder, showering the group in sparkling dust. This was followed by a burst of maniacal laughter.

“Except for that one,” HippoSpy waved away at the dust cloud as she approached, “That one will need to be restrained, but that is why orderly  _ Heavy  _ Hoof is here.” She smiled up at the large pony and winked. Heavy looked calmly down at her, back at the police ponies and then beyond them to the frantically gesturing Spy and Sniper while Scout appeared to be trying to give a thumbs-up with hooves and disappointing himself until he discovered his wings were surprisingly flexible. 

“So..this big guy  _ isn’t  _ one of your patients?” Officer Cuffbert tried to hide his relief, he wasn’t sure they had anything in the pony’s size. 

“This is orderly Heavy Hoof, he’s been waiting here for me to arrive and help escort them back. These scamps had stolen uniforms from some Red Bread Bakery employees who had been delivering goods at the hospital. Heavy Hoof here quickly played along with them so that he could keep a close eye and make sure no one wandered off from the group. Very good job Heavy Hoof,” she patted him on the foreleg.

“Now, please would you be so kind as to restrain the doctor and we can make our way...home.”

Heavy glanced back at Spy and Sniper who were vigorously nodding their heads. 

“Yes, doctor.”

“Doctor?” Medic snapped, “Oh now  _ she’s  _ the doctor? Fine, everyone’s turning against me. But I don’t need you, I can do this!” Another bottle began to glow, but Heavy scooped him up and began carrying him away, breaking his concentration. Keeping Medic under control under one arm, he used his free hoof to snag and toss Demo and Soldier onto his back. With a withering warning glare at Engineer the dragoneer reluctantly abandoned his sketches and peacefully followed the large pony away from the statue.

“Err ma’am, I mean, doctor, we’re still going to need you to answer a few questions for our report.”

“Certainly officer,” HippoSpy beamed, “I’ll tell you all about it after your coughing fit.” With that she pulled out some spherical object and threw it to the ground, a massive explosion of blue smoke rolled out, engulfing the area. Scarf pulled over her beak, HippoSpy darted expertly through the cloud and into the backs of the retreating Red mercs, urging them to keep moving. Closer to the edge of the blue smoke bomb, they were able to clear it, meet up with Spy, Sniper and Scout, and lose themselves in the winding streets of Fortrotsville. 

“Well, that was exciting now, wasn’t it?” HippoSpy laughed, reaching for her amulet, “and before you get too worked up, once you get called in for your contracts the Administrataur will clear up any nasty paperwork lying around - trust me on that one.” 

The group has paused for breath in alley number three, Scout eyeing the walls and trying to tell if this was the same alley from the start or not. 

“And  _ why  _ would we want to work for her in this world?” Spy asked, rolling his insect eyes.

“You’re not going to be given a choice,” she replied with a cold shrug, clicking the amulet and changing back into her blue form. 

“Blue Spy!” Soldier yelled from Heavy’s back, apparently instantly sober and leaping into the air with surprising coordination .

“Stand down Soldier, she’s an ally,” said Engineer, “I think.”

“Traitorous Blue,” Soldier snarled, flexing his talons menacingly,

“Who just saved you,” pointed out Sniper,

“From what?”

“...yourself.”

“My word.” Soldier stopped, aghast, “My most powerful enemy.”

Spy face-hoofed, and turned back to HippoSpy, “Anyway, back to what you said about the Administrator-”

“Administrat _ aur,”  _ HippoSpy corrected, “We’ll find a nice spot to have lunch and I will explain everything. The important thing to know is that you are not the first mercs to find yourselves here, and just like them, you will believe you can escape her will. And you will be wrong.”

“Is that a threat?”   
“A  _ fact,  _ sadly. As I found out since coming to this place.”

“If it’s so hopeless, then why bother helping us?” Sniper asked,

“Because I want to know why I died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer to get done than I would have liked, having to rewrite half the chapter while ill and still had a commission to finish, so yeah I hope this is at least entertaining chapter for some people.
> 
> Still a lot of thanks goes to my 'Shadow Editor' (My twin sister) for taking time out of her day to help me finish this, I know you would rather be helping with an original written piece, but I greatly appreciate your help always. 
> 
> \---  
> An explanation behind the 'human' name for Spy as there is no official name for him and I honestly doubt we will ever see one, but yes why Romelo? well I wanted to be 'clever' and base Spy human name on the name of his voice actor which is Dennis Bateman, and somehow when look up names 'similar' to Denis, Romelo somehow came up during that search and I decided to go with that, not that great of a story but I hope people will at least understand my name choice now.


	4. Episode 1 - Part 4:  ‘In a little blue House’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this chapter took so long to get done, Thursdays are the days that I can get help with the story from my twin(Editor), ended up having to completely rewrite chapter 4 as my twin pointed out an issue in the story, then we had to go look at TF2 Lore (Official comics/Meet the Merc's videos, other) as she was not 100% familiar with it all TF2 stuff, then we spent time reworking the 'story' and planning it out a bit better, before getting back to chapter 4. I also wasn't feeling very well for the last couple of weeks but I'm doing better now, I doubt this will mean chapters will come out more regularly but we'll have to see.

**Broken Mirror** **  
** **_(TF2/MLP crossover)_ **

**SEASON 0**

**Episode 1 - Part 4:** **  
** **‘In a little blue House’**

**Location:** UKNOWN **Time:** 12:15pm

The sounds of the train running along the tracks was an all too familiar background noise in the daily life of Miss Baaling the goat as she flicked through the documents in front of her - catching up on the latest secret that needed to be ‘kept’ secret. Short black horns arched back over her head, nestled between locks of dark brown hair that threatened to flop over her thick square glasses. There were times when she’d been tempted to cut it shorter to match the close cropped hair at the back of her neck, tapering to disappear beneath the white collar of her wisteria purple blouse. Dark grey buttons trailed down the front of her top, and clacking gently against them in rhythm with the train was what seemed to be a bulky purple pocket watch suspended on a black chain hung around her neck. A pleated, dark grey skirt hung in neat folds around her waist as she sat to attention. 

There was a soft chiming sound that seemed to be coming from her saddlebag next to her. Hastily she dropped the documents she was reading onto the empty seat beside her and fished out the chiming compact. She glanced around quickly, confirming the lack of prying eyes in the otherwise empty train car before flipping it open to look into the serious gaze of her boss from the magic mirror within. “Yes, Administrataur?”

“We have detected a new active contract signal. A large RED cluster, at least 5 or more in Fortrotsville. Go there and collect them at once.”

“Right away, Administrataur. Anything else?”

“Keep an eye out for anything unusual. The timing for this bothers me.” 

“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what I should be looking for?”

For a moment, Miss Baaling wasn’t sure if the Administrataur was going to reply, but after a heavy sigh she said, “Anything that seems otherworldly,” then the mirror’s surface flickered and Miss Baaling was left staring at her own reflection. Conversation over, apparently, but the Administrataur had always been a bit brusque. Baaling clicked the compact closed and slipped it back into her saddlebag, swapping it instead for a well-worn travel guide... 

***

**Location:** Fortrotsville - HippoSpy Safe House  **Time:** 12:30pm

Navigating the large team through the streets of Fortrotsville and trying not to gain too much attention was indeed a challenge - particularly when half of them were being carried. Fortunately, with the guidance of two Spies aiding them, they were able to lessen the degree of notice from the locals and made it to HippoSpy’s safehouse: a small two story building squeezed in between two large apartments. 

There was something about this building, perhaps it was the way it’s pale blue-grey brickwork blended into the shadows, or the boring angular architectural style that brought it flush with its neighbours, but one’s gaze seemed to slip past it and onto the next house before one realised it. Spy had the feeling it was the kind of place easily missed if one wasn’t searching for it, and was glad he memorized the streets they took to get here. This location could be one to retreat to if needed. 

Oceana walked up to the door and seemed to fiddle with something, perhaps the lock, before it swung open and released a rush of slightly musty air from the dark room beyond. Oceana turned to the group and quietly gestured with her wings for them to enter, all the while her eyes taking in the skyline and street corners as she seemed to check to see if anyone was watching them.

“Remember to wipe your hooves, I don’t want you getting any dirt on my purrsian rug,” she said softly as they each stepped over the threshold. Scout, ignoring this, flew straight over the doormat and began looking around the small foyer. 

  
  


It was almost surreal how ‘normal’ it was, if not for certain fantasy-ish items and furniture he would have thought he had walked (or should he say  _ flown? _ ) into a normal home back in their world. His curiosity getting the best of him, he zipped around the first floor as the others crowded into the entrance hall. To the left was a dining room with a simple wooden rectangular table and two chairs seated on either end. A kitchen adjoined it, it had all the modern utilities one would expect - if this wasn’t a medieval magical ponyland. Fridge, stove, microwave, sink, and an array of storage cupboards. He immediately opened the fridge. He couldn’t see that it was plugged into anything but the light came on when he opened the door. Disappointed by the rows of suspicious vials covered in mystery writing, he let the door slam itself shut and moved back through the foyer and continued into what seemed to be a lounge area where his teammates had gathered and were making their less conscious teammates comfortable. 

It was clear from the decor that HippoSpy favoured blues and greens, with occasional aqua and reddish brown furniture for contrast. None of it seemed like it was expensive, but it had an aura of elegance and sophistication about it to match their hostess. There was no television, but off to the side were several potted plants of different species sat on a low wooden table, leaves happily outstretched towards some kind of golden glowing crystal hanging from the ceiling over them. While Scout didn’t know the importance of the plants, Spy was unsurprised to recognize they possessed ‘toxic’ as well as aesthetic properties, something he took careful note of.

“This place isn’t really meant for a whole team to be here, but you should be able to make some room for yourselves,” HippoSpy said breezily, as she eyed Scout before heading in the direction of the kitchen, “I’ll go grab some potions to help sober up your idiot teammates.” Heavy snorted at that comment as he helped Medic onto the blue recliner chair while Soldier and Demo were being propped up on a blue couch by the Engineer. 

“You have potions for that?” Engineer exclaimed, HippoSpy smiled and winked at him, “One of the perks of a predominantly magical world, Engi. Stick around, you might learn to like it.” 

Scout continued to fly around the room, seeming to be more interested in the little nick nacks decorated around the ‘safe house’, while Sniper and Spy loitered by the entrance and carefully watched HippoSpy step out of sight as she turned a corner into the dining area. 

“Okay Spy, explain to us what happened after I saw her grab you out of the sky.” Sniper spoke in a harsh whisper as Scout came down and landed beside Sniper, nodding in agreement.

“There's a lot that needs to be explained and - thanks for warning me by the way,” grumbled Spy, shooting a glare at Sniper

“I tried mate, not my fault you didn’t hear me,”

“Spy, are you sure we can trust this... _ other  _ Spy?” Engineer now joined the conversation. 

“I have my reasons to believe her.”

Sniper opened his mouth to press him, but then HippoSpy came back into view, carefully holding a bottle under her left armpit and 3 shot glasses in her right talon. The group hastily separated at her approach, and her eyes knowingly sparkled at their reactions, “Hey boys, happily talking about me?” She waggled her eyebrows at Sniper as she slipped past him, “Glad to know when I’m gone, I’m all you talk about,” she teased as she proceeded to the little table in the room, setting the glasses down before moving onto the bottle and pouring some of its contents into the glasses.

“These should snap them back to sobriety in a few minutes,” passing a glass to Heavy, who very gently took it, he gave it a questionable sniff then glanced back at her.    
“It’s not poison, I swear,” she said, a talon placed over her heart, “and like I told Spy earlier, if I wanted you dead, there are much easier ways I could go about it. Get them all to drink up while I find something edible in my pantry.”

Heavy sighed, “Doctor, time for your medicine,”   
“Vhat?” Medic frowned and looked around blearily, “I don’t remember prescribing zhis,” but he grumpily took it all the same after Heavy insistently pushed it towards him.

Demo had apparently seen a shot glass on the table and dismissed it to take the bottle instead. 

“Should we, err, stop him or somethin’?” Scout stared worriedly as the potion’s contents were rapidly disappearing down the llamas throat, “Can you overdose on being sobre?”

“I’m not even sure that potion will have any effect on him to be honest,” Spy commented wryly, “but it could be amusing to find out. Soldier, a toast,” Spy had taken the shot glasses, and now offered one to Soldier, “to America!”

“America!” Soldier yelled happily, taking the glass and clinking it clumsily before chucking it back - not noticing that Spy casually tossed it over his shoulder instead and onto Demo where it seemed to be sucked into his wool and vanish.

The group stared intently at their teammates, wondering if anything was going to happen. Medic blinked and finally focused on their surroundings, “Ah, vell...vhat vas a little embarrassing…” 

Heavy nodded, “Da.” Medic sheepishly straightened himself up and looked around, “Vhat vas in that...and is Demo dead or frozen?” As one, the mercs looked at Demo, who had apparently stopped mid-chug, his entire body rigid and eyes staring in intense shock into some unseeable plain of existence.

“Anyone wanna poke him?” Scout suggested.

“Yes!” Declared Soldier, immediately patting his friend, “He is  _ fluffy! _ ”

Medic hopped down and trotted over, taking one of the frozen llama limbs and reflexively trying to feel for a pulse before realising the impossibility of this with hooves, “Engi, you have hands, help me find a pulse!”

“I hope you all like dairy,” HippoSpy said as she sashayed back into the room. In one set of talons she balanced what appeared to be an actual silver platter with cheese and crackers, complete with tiny cheese knives. On her back was balanced a wide wicker basket. “All I could find was cheese and crackers and...did you let him drink  _ all  _ the bottle?!”   
“...yes?” replied Scout, “I mean, you didn’t say he  _ couldn’t _ ,”

“Why did you think I  _ poured  _ it - urgh, nevermind.” She set down the platter on the table and snatched the empty bottle from Demo’s still frozen hoof, sighing as she turned it around in her claws to confirm its complete emptiness. “Well, congratulations, you’re going to have a sober demoman for the next...24hrs. If the shock doesn’t kill him, he’ll be fine. Pity we don’t have a true medical professional to deal with the situation.”

“I  _ am  _ a medical professional,” protested Medic, “I am just a little...short-handed at the moment. Literally no hands.”

“I’m only teasing,  _ doctor,  _ I just thought you  _ gentlemen  _ would have more sense than to let him drink the whole thing...it’s going to be a pain ordering some more. But don’t worry, I’ll just add that to the list of things you owe me.” She slid the basket off her back and onto the floor, “Speaking of which, here’s the next thing, although you probably won’t want to hear this... _ but  _ I’m going to need you all to ditch the uniforms. I can’t have any more rumours of the ‘Red Bread Bakery’ running around causing trouble.”

“But we would be naked!!” Cried Scout, almost dropping his cracker,

“Scout, if you haven’t noticed most of the population are ‘Naked’. Clothes here are used as either uniform or fashion. The creatures of this world generally don’t need to use attire as their bodies are modest enough that it's not awkward. That said,” she started taking clothes out of the basket, “here are a few things to help you feel more comfortable. One size does  _ not  _ fit all sadly, so you may have to get creative with a shawl or something.” That last remark she directed mostly at Heavy as he towered over both the group and the small pile of clothes. 

As the others moved in to look at their options, Soldier stood resolutely to the side, “Son, you can take me from my world. You can take me to your house. But you will never take...my  _ helmet _ .”

“You can keep your helmet.” 

“Yaaaay.”

As Spy was trying to lean past the others to look for something appropriate, HippoSpy gently guided him away by the shoulder, “Unfortunately, Spy, you won’t find anything in there that will fit a changeling comfortably. Fortunately, you’re not going to need it. A changeling can take on any form, be it creature or rock, and they don’t have the limitations the usual Spy Gadgets do.”

“That makes annoyingly sense that Spy would turn into one of those,” Scout scoffed, now wearing a blue beanie and a blue jacket, zipped up at the front with white stripes running down the sides like racing stripes - his hand/hoof-wraps he’d kept. “So you sayin’ there is a race of spooks out there? And that  _ anyone _ an’  _ anything _ could be one of them?”

“Yes. It’s why magical security against changelings has been a top priority. Thankfully, Spy transformed into a ‘reformed’ changeling. If he  _ wasn’t, _ then the citizens would have gone into a panic at the sight of him. But I’ll explain that more later, more importantly.” She turned to Engi who had taken off the hardhat that seemed to sit perfectly among his head spines, and was now carefully trying on a soft blue cap. 

“Engineer, you’ll also have to pass”

“And why’s that?”

“Dragons don’t wear clothes,” she said matter of factly.

“There’s always a first time,” he shrugged.

“But-”

“You said fashion was fine, perhaps I’m settin’ a trend.”

_ “Yes,  _ setting a trend to _ stick out like a sore claw! _ ” She snapped, “Dragons breathe fire and regularly bathe in lava, the only things they wear are armour plating for combat.”

“So will the fashion police arrest me?” Engi asked dryly, with a raise of what passed for eyebrows. There was a pause and a defeated sigh, “Well, no, but-”

“Then I’m wearin’ this,” he said, as he placed the hat on his head and the head spines tore through the hat. While ‘ruined’ in HippoSpy’s eyes, it at least fit the Engineer’s draconic form now. 

HippoSpy made quiet strangled noises while clawing at the sky before taking a deep calming breath and composing herself. “ _ Fine.” _

“Also I’m keeping my belt,”

“You can’t, it would be too obvious-” she said, seeming to want to tear out her feathers in frustration, “How about I get a  _ different  _ belt that will blend in a bit more. You can swap your tools over to that instead. Happy?”

“...I want to see the belt first.”

***

After a bit of scuffling back and forth, the mercs were finally outfitted in a way that they felt mostly comfortable with and that HippoSpy could tolerate. Soldier was now wearing a simple green t-shirt that matched the colour of his helmet. With some difficulty, the group had picked a blue-grey t-shirt for demo and forced it over his still frozen form, the difficult part being that his fluff seemed to resist containment. Heavy had gone with a simple orange and white scarf, with a similarly coloured orange bandanna on his head. Medic had reluctantly taken off his lab coat, leaving him in just a white shirt and trousers. He was trying to wear a red fedora ‘jauntily’ on his head, but his horn was getting in the way. Sniper had been trying to work out what he could wear without getting his wings caught in it when HippoSpy handed him a dark brown vest with a wink, telling him that she was sure this would be a good fit and not to worry about the wings. 

“Right. We’re sober. Fed, and...dressed. Now. Will you tell us what you meant when you said you died?” Asked Spy, 

Sniper nodded in agreement, “I mean, no offense ma’am but you look pretty alive to me. And I’m stating that as a professional.” He added before she could add any remarks on that subject. 

“Yes, it’s very confusing,” admitted HippoSpy, “I died back in our old world and was brought back to life in  _ this  _ world - well, reincarnated to be precise.” 

“You’re kinda making people question people’s beliefs here.” Engineer said while absent mindedly fiddling with Pyro’s lighter. 

“Yes, it has made me rethink a lot of what I ‘thought’ I knew, but the point is that when I was reborn, it came with a price-tag attached that I didn’t discover until I was much older. This price was a magical contract, bound to my very soul, that left me with no choice but to join the BLU army in this world.”

HippoSpy proceeded to explain to the group about the world they now found themselves in. The land of Equestria, ruled by RedSun and BlueMoon, viewed by the locals as the respected monarchs that had the power to raise the sun and moon, but behind closed doors were as insanely idiotic and competitve as Redmond and Blutarch from their world. 

“Err, what was that about controlling the sun and moon?” Asked Scout, raising a hoof in the air questioningly,

“Oh, right. Yes, it’s a thing in this world. Don’t question it.”

“Wait, seriously?”

Engineer frowned, “That’s impossible. The physics alone would suggest-”

“ _ Magic.  _ Don’t. Think. About it. And  _ don’t  _ interrupt,” She said with an edge in her voice, “1000 years ago a pact was made…” HippoSpy regretted that she couldn’t adjust the room lighting to be more suitably atmospheric for this presentation but consoled herself with the thought that her current audience wouldn’t have appreciated it anyway. 

She continued her explanation, that 1000 years ago a contract had been made by RedSun and BlueMoon with a band of heroes to help protect Equestria from their enemies. As RedSun and BlueMoon were still in their infancy in controlling the celestial bodies and needed to focus all their attention on that duty, and could not spare their magical strength to deal with other issues. 

“This was a lie. In truth, they were locked in magical combat over who could rule the country, and the skies, each trying to force the other to accept either the day or night as superior. They would have continued in this way indefinitely but then something changed.”

The group listened carefully. Well, most of the group was listening, probably, with the exception of Soldier, Demo who was still frozen, and it wasn’t certain if Scout was paying full attention. HippoSpy twitched as Soldier got up and wandered off to explore the rest of the house, but gritted her beak and continued. Quickly brushing over the fall of the heroes in the fight against Queen Phantasm, and the discovery of the respawn trees that revived them. The apparent connection between these strange apparently natural phenomena and the contractual magic of RedSun and BlueMoon. And lastly, that the brothers had turned these trees to their advantage, constructing battlegrounds wherever these trees appeared, and making their contracted heroes fight on behalf of the brothers to determine how long the sun or moon would be in the sky each day.

“I still can’t believe that’s even possible,” grumbled Engineer,   
“Just keep an eye on the time and the sky, you’ll soon see it’s true. When RED Team wins, the days are longer, and the opposite is true when BLU Team is victorious. Magic. Get used to it.” 

“So we’re going to have to fight because of these contracts?” 

“Some time after the first heroes, in an attempt to break out of their stalemate RedSun and BlueMoon tried to see if they could make more warriors to outdo each other. They altered the contract. Somehow, beings of this world can now be born with a dormant contract within them. Once they come of age, if the contract is somehow triggered it will activate. I have been studying it, and so far the only connection is something to do with violence.” 

“Except you. You said you came from our world.” Said Sniper, 

“Hmm, does that mean you vere a Spy in our vorld?” Asked Medic,

“Yes,” HippoSpy gave a slight bow, “I was a previous mercenary on the BLU team. I was reborn in this world with no memory of my former existence - until my contract activated. It’s the same contract that is likely already activated inside you.” Spy gave her a side glance, noting that she had neatly avoided any mention of cloning. 

“Say we believe you. How did you know we were here in the first place?” Engineer said, crossing his arms expectantly.

“Ah, like so many things in this world, Engi, the answer is  _ magic.”  _ HippoSpy took a little too much satisfaction in tugging on a silver chain that had been hidden beneath the scarf around her neck, taking out a flat crystalline leaf roughly 2 inches long and 1 inch wide. It’s opalesque colours were dazzling even in the dim light of the room. She rested it in the palm of her clawed hand and pointed the tip towards herself. The leaf flared bright blue. She pulled it away and stepped closer to Engi, pointing it at his chest it changed to red. 

_ “ _ This is what I used to find you. It can only do so because it’s reacting to your contracts.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Asked Scout, suddenly paying attention, 

“It  _ means _ they will be coming to collect you and make you join the Red VS Blu war all over again.” She tucked the leaf back out of sight, pacing the room, “If you refuse, the contract will kill you.” 

“That’s kind of harsh,” Sniper muttered,

“Well, it is an incentive for participation and maintaining secrecy. Attempting to discuss the matter with those outside the loop results in the same fate - it’s why it’s safe for me to talk to you about this now. Speaking of secrets.” She turned to face them, composed and serious - hoping they would take the hint, “You need to keep your origins a secret. I have a plan that you might be able to help me with so you can return to your world, but to succeed we must first disguise you as locals.”

“What do you hope to gain from us helping you?” Asked Spy suspiciously, HippoSpy smiled confidently in reply, “Simple  _ freedom _ , my dear Spy. I want ‘out’ of this cycle of death and to choose my own path, not one that was predestined at my birth.” She sighed and settled into one of her comfortable chairs, leaning forward and clicking her talons together thoughtfully, “I know what I am saying is a lot to take in, and you have no reason to trust me or follow my plans - apart from all the help I’ve already provided.” She shot a glare at the destroyed hat pinned to Engi’s head, “But if you agree to assist me, then I will in turn do everything in my power to continue assisting  _ you _ . You can say ‘no’ and walk out of here, get immediately caught, interrogated, and locked up in Tartarus.  _ Or _ we agree to be in an alliance, work together to annul these contracts, and return you to your world.”

“Just us? You’re not planning on coming?” Heavy rumbled,

“I  _ died _ , remember? My ‘life’ in that world is over and honestly I would not want to return even if I could.” Spy wasn’t sure if she briefly glanced at him with that last comment, or if it had been a trick of the light.

The Mercs looked to each other, those who weren’t in a sobre stupor at any rate. They had been in many different and crazy situations together, even if world hopping wasn’t among them until now. They could leave, but if what she said was true they would be tracked down no matter where they went. They nodded, if she betrayed them later they’d deal with it then, as they always had. 

“Okay, we’re in,” said Sniper, “where do we sign up for this Red/Blu war?”

“I’m no BLU!” Soldier called defiantly, suddenly popping his head back into the room, although now he had a bucket in his claws. 

“No no, Soldier, your contract would draw you to the RED team.” HippoSpy called back, wondering privately:  _ Where did he get that bucket? _

Soldier paused in the doorway, taking this in, then smiled, “Yaaay.”

“So...do we get paid?” Heavy interrupted,

“Well, yes-”

“Do we get days off?” Scout asked,   
“Yes,”

“So...it’s just the same as before then. Except now we’re all talking horses and birds.” Sniper adjusted his sunglasses with two talons, 

“The difference is more the opponents you will be facing, magical creatures with powers that they’ve had years to master while you have a day. That and the stakes are a little higher...”

“Where is the steak? I want to eat the steak now.” Soldier pranced into the centre of the room eagerly,

“About that. Unfortunately...there is no steak in this world.”

“No.”

“Also, you’ll have to lay off the chicken, venison, lamb, beef…”

With each new meat item Soldier looked increasingly crestfallen,

“...but you can have all the bacon you can eat.”

There was a tiny muffled yay. 

“Anything  _ else  _ ve need to know?” said Medic,

“Plenty. And I don’t have time to walk you through  _ all  _ of it, but fortunately I have these.” As the Mercs watched, she then opened a cabinet with some small books inside, blowing off the dust from the covers and placing them on the table, they were clearly children’s books. For a moment Spy felt a subtle surge of emotion from their hostess, regret perhaps? 

“Here. This should be suitable reading material to learn the basics while I’m gone.”

“Err, I can’t read this,” Scout waved a thin book with a picture of a pretty pink unicorn on it. 

“Then look at the pictures,” she hissed,   
“No, I am afraid it’s not just Scout. None of us can read this.” Engineer flicked through the pages, “We can understand the language here somehow, but not these letters.” 

HippoSpy paused, a stunned look on her face before slowly closing her eyes and sighing. “Black market potions it is then…” mentally calculating how much  _ more  _ money she was spending on these guys. 

“Potions. Are there potions for  _ reading?”  _ Before HippoSpy could say anything Engineer waved her off, “Forget it. Magic, right?”

“You’re finally catching on I see.”

***

HippoSpy had left them to eat, rest and talk among themselves, as well as work out where they would be going to sleep for the night among the rooms. Before she could suggest anything to Sniper he had taken a spot in the corner on the floor. “You know I have beds-”

“Floor is fine.”

“Heavy would like bed.”

Meanwhile Soldier had been poking Demo’s plush wool and eventually settled for leaning him sideways against the sofa as an extra pillow. As Medic settled into the recliner, Spy quietly followed HippoSpy as she said her goodbyes and went upstairs. She paused outsider her office, hesitating at letting Spy enter just yet but relented and waved him in. 

HippoSpy ‘Office’ had much more ‘serious’ edge to it than the rest of her house. The blinds were still drawn so the room was still in mostly darkness and dust hung on the dark oak desk and bookshelves, although Spy took note of where dust had recently been displaced. Honestly, the room reminded him of a detective noir office with its layout. HippoSpy then went over to the central desk and pulled the string of a green reading lamp that was sitting on its surface, lighting up the room to some degree. She rummaged through the desk drawers before pulling something out and leaving it in the light before turning away and towards a wall. Spy glanced at the thing placed on the desk, the light glinting off the familiar metal edge of a balisong. He left the knife and its meaning behind, and watched HippoSpy as she placed her claw against the wall and there was a soft click before a section of wall slid away to reveal a hidden room. At its centre was the unmistakable shape of an inactive teleporter pad. 

“So. This is the real answer to how you found us so quickly,” said Spy, casually checking for a sign of how to activate it. 

“Yes. This is also how I will be getting you all the extra gear and tutelage you will need. I would rather this be kept from the others for now. If only so they do not break it.” She leant against the hidden doorframe and cocked her head sideways, “But I see you have  _ other _ questions. Ask away.”

“Why didn’t you tell them what you told me?”

“Oh?” She widened her eyes in mock surprise, “I thought I was doing you a favour.” She grinned slyly, “Imagine all the flak you would get from Scout if he knew I was you but as a woman.”

“Oh really, how considerate of you,” Spy casually waved a hoof in the direction of the closed office door, “and here I was, thinking it was because a certain someone would be even  _ more  _ uncomfortable around you if he knew who you were  _ supposed  _ to be?”    
“It would admittedly make trying to have a relationship a little awkward.” She shrugged her shoulders sadly, “I’m sure he’ll come around though...if he never finds out.”

“Riiight. Well then.” He offered a hoof, “To our graves, then?”

“Agreed.” She extended her claw and they shook on it. 

End of Episode 01 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I finally did it!! it has taken me forever to finally write down what's been processing in my head for the last 2 years...
> 
> So inspired by the written works of KnightMysterio (Waking Nightmares) and Vildtiger (Living Darkness- tf2/mlp crossover ) both TF2/MLP crossovers 
> 
> I've finally thrown my hat into the ring in this amusing crossover, one I hope other's will enjoy, but I apologizes in advance for my bad grammar hopefully it's not too bad.....but I know I still have issues when it comes to my writing hopefully the series can help me improve in an area that I struggle with.


End file.
